The Reticent
by Lady Ryden
Summary: It was more than an inclination to be silent, for she could not speak. After all that had happened, he understood what leaving everything behind entailed. And neither could ever truly overcome what they'd lost. No one ever returned from Madhouse the same way they went in. - character death / violence
1. Damned From the Start

The Reticent

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**Warning: **This story will not be for the faint of heart, the weak of stomach, or the easily disturbed/offended. I will not be _alluding_ to acts of torture and there will be character death.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or any associated canon characters.

By **Lady Ryden **

_**~)) …**_** Chapter 1: Damned From The Start **_**… ((~**_

_Well that is that and this is this,_

_Will you tell me what you saw?_

_And I'll tell you what you missed._

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The tear-glassed honey eyes of a woman watched the man before her with an admiration that only could come from years of familiar contact and an undying respect that had rooted itself in her heart from knowledge of his hardships and his uncanny ability to pull through no matter the circumstances. Very few people earned this gaze and even fewer earned her tears.

"I understand what my decision entails, Hokage-sama. The risks are ones I'm willing to take." Kakashi stated flatly, mismatched eyes focused directly above her head out of fear that if he met her gaze, he would lose all ambition he had to follow through.

"Does she understand, Kakashi?" Tsunade inquired smoothly, though her voice was heavy with mixed emotions.

Slowly, he nodded. "Yes, Hokage-sama… that's why there has been a change in plans." He swallowed hard, biting back the uncertainty rising in his throat.

"Oh?"

"She will be coming with me. Sakura has made this choice of her own accord… and I believe that after everything that has happened to her, that she is allowed to pursue this alternative." Kakashi cleared his throat and took a deep breath. His weight shifted from one foot to the other before he straightened slightly. "Lady Tsunade, she has specifically asked me to tell you she does not wish to struggle modifying her whole life around her new disability to be part of society. She feels that she would be happier living a freelance life. One where people wouldn't ask too many questions…"

Tsunade considered the words of the silver-haired jounin before her, eyes closed in thought. If she allowed Sakura her wish of leaving Konohagakure, she would not only be losing Kakashi Hatake but Sakura Haruno herself as well. They were two of her best shinobi and despite how unsettling those facts were to face, she agreed with Kakashi. Sakura had lost so much more on this mission than ever she or anyone else had ever imagined she might and while she still had a firm, two-handed grasp on her life, it had been radically changed forever.

For a moment, she thought of Dan and her brother and how after their deaths, she had needed to _leave_.

With a heavy heart weighing down her shoulders, the Hokage inclined her head with acceptance of their selection. "I will allow it." She affirmed softly. She allowed her golden eyes to flicker upward and meet Kakashi's. "I ask one thing of you both before you leave, however."

"Anything, Hokage-sama." Kakashi answered steadfastly.

"I want to know the story." She declared. "I want to know what happened on that mission, to both of you, and what happened to Sai. Sometimes facing up to the bad dreams can be the best way to overcome them."

She watched as he closed his eyes. He sighed heavily. "Very well." He stepped forward toward her desk. "May I respectfully request that Sakura not be present for this? She's sleeping now and she…she needs the rest, Hokage-sama. She has informed me, in detail, of _some_ of the things she thought along the way…and things that happened to her when we were... separated. I know bits and pieces of Sai's side as well…but… Forgive me for any inconsistencies." He swallowed painfully. "His death is also a very hard topic for her to deal with. She's really struggling to come to terms with it."

"That's fine, Kakashi. I'll take what I can get." He had another point. If she wanted to hear the story, and still allow them time to leave before morning light, Kakashi would have to tell it. That the young medic needed rest was simply a cover for Kakashi to say it would take far too long. As much as she loved Sakura and didn't want her or the brat Hatake to leave, waiting for her to explain everything would keep them in the village for days. She didn't wish to upset the girl, either. At this, she reasoned, Kakashi's memory would need to suffice. "Where will you start?"

"From the beginning."

* * *

The soft sound of brushes scraping and spreading wet, oily paint against canvas filled the small studio. Pale, alabaster fingers lightly gripped said brush, guiding each stroke with an elegance that only years of practice could produce.

Sai's pink tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth, as his eyebrows pulled down in concentration. Every so often he would tilt his head to appraise his masterpiece, often tutting to himself over a small error or something he missed. He would often quickly fix it and then pick back up where he left off right before.

Sakura watched him do this for nearly an hour as he slowly crafted what were once dark scribbles in pencil into a masterpiece of oil-on-canvas. She could see the defined shape of the cherry blossom tree he'd formed against the grey, stormy backdrop.

She smiled happily as he turned to her and grinned. "Do you like it?"

She nodded vigorously. "I do, very much."

The young medic observed him as he went back to work, slowly dotting in the blossoms with light, impressionistic dots. When she'd first met him six years ago, she hadn't liked him very much but after graduating from her jounin rank into ANBU at nineteen she had been placed on his team and forced to spend more time with him. From there they had moved from awkward acquaintances to good friends.

Often he would invite her to his apartment-studio to watch him paint or model for a sketch. On their days off, they habitually met for breakfast coffee and would have lunch together. She got on well with him, better than she had originally thought possible and after spending so much time with her, his people skills had improved. Not greatly, but he was much more inclined to act appropriately in public.

As it turned out, he was quite charismatic when he wasn't trying to _impress_ someone or _act_ normal. He had a sweet and lively laugh and because it was so rare to hear, Sakura treasured it even more.

"That is good." He said softly before sticking his tongue out again as he began shading the tree with yielding pats. "I would like to call this one 'Sakura'."

"I'm not sure why, but I quite like that name." She teased playfully as she slowly stood and stretched. He smiled to himself and shook his head as she padded lightly into his small kitchenette and threw open his fridge. On the rack-shelves there resided nothing but a gallon of milk, a jar of strawberry jam and cold take-out from three nights ago. "We should go out for dinner."

"Hmm." Sai hummed. "Where would you like to go? It's my turn to pay."

She tapped her chin and threw open the cupboards above his counters. Naruto's instant ramen cups and bowls stared back at her. "It's been awhile since we've been to Ichiraku's." She sang. She could feel his dark eyes find her and pierce her with stares of evil ramen-hating intent and it plastered a bright smile across her face.

"If that's what you _really_ want… I guess they have good tempura." He grumbled as he turned his head back to the paint palate in his left hand. "Naruto will be back in town tonight, yes? If he is, as Ichiraku's tends to be his first stop, we could stick him with the bill."

"You're positively wicked." Sakura giggled. "I love it."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "It's a gift."

"I'm sure." She sat back down in the chair she'd originally dwelled in and began pulling her black boots on, first her left then her right. When both were on, she gave both feet a heavy stomp for good measure and her enjoyment.

Both she and Sai listened as the elderly woman in the apartment beneath Sai's beat against her ceiling repeatedly with the blunt end of her broom, yelling a frustrated: "Knock it off!"

He raised a single brow in question but couldn't hide the amused tone of his voice. "Was that really necessary, Sakura?"

She shrugged as she stood, placing her hands on her hips. "She called me a hussy the other day because she thinks we're having premarital sex."

"Ah." He nodded as he finished capping all of his paints. He stood and settled his palate on the stool he'd been sitting on for the last few hours. "You received the sanctity of virginity speech too, then?"

"Twice." She admitted. "Once when she caught me climbing up the fire exit, and once in the supermarket."

The nosy old bag had managed to catch her off guard while she was shopping. And then proceeded to relentlessly chew her ear over the reasons why 'having sex' with her neighbor before they were married was going to send her to hell. She had violated some age-old code of conduct or something. She'd tuned out after explaining to her that Sai's wife deserved to be the first and last person to ever know him on that level.

He chuckled lightly at this. "I've gotten it three times. Once in the stairwell, and twice when she cornered me while I was getting my mail." He sighed and pulled on his cropped ROOT jacket. He rolled his shoulders to straighten it out. "I tried telling her we were not intimate. Stupid old hag doesn't listen."

That she didn't, Sakura mused as she followed Sai out the door of his apartment.

On the other side of town, Kakashi sat comfortably perched in a tall oak tree, one that over looked the village from the top of the Hokage Monument. The small, well-worn green-jacketed Icha Icha Tactics was cradled in his large hand. His lone visible eye followed the sentences as his ears listened to the sound of birds in the branches above him.

He would look up and outward over the city and watch as the warm orange glow of the sun slowly descended behind the trees kissing the horizon. It painted the sky a warm red tonight, with touches of pink and purple in the clouds. He liked red nights the best.

Periodically he would whistle a clear note and earn a mocking response from a small white warbling bird at the end of the bough he sat on. It fluttered away when his stomach growled loudly. He sighed and pressed a palm flat to his abdomen then snapped his little green book shut. He'd run out of decent reading light anyway and he'd promised Naruto he'd meet him at Ichiraku's for dinner. Deciding he wasn't going to pass up a free meal, albeit Naruto didn't know he was paying yet, Kakashi jumped down from the branches of the tree and landed on his toes in the dust of the ground below.

He began his stroll toward the small eatery with shoulders slouched forward and his own scarred hands buried deep in his pockets. The looming length of the Hokage Monument stairs gazed up at him practically cackling with their ceaselessness, but with each step he conquered, the noise of their silent laughter became quieter.

When Kakashi finally reached the streets below, he turned his head to look at the ascending stairs and mentally shook a fist at them in victory. His old bones on the other hand ached in protest – an odd first-time occurrence that made him feel utterly uncomfortable.

He was a measly thirty-seven. He considered himself too young to have aching bones, at least in civilian years. There had to be a simple explanation for it. Perhaps he was coming down with something, the flu or its likes.

Whatever reasoning he tried to find for sore bones was lost when he saw three pairs of familiar sandaled feet underneath the entry drapery of Naruto's favorite ramen stand. He smiled underneath the black of his mask and lifted one of the large signs to allow himself in.

"Yo." He greeted with a raise of his hand.

Crystalline blue eyes and a bronzed face found him before he had a chance to sit down. "Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto cheered, scooping his old teacher up in a backbreaking hug.

Kakashi winced as his back popped but when some of the soreness left him, he sighed. That was it; He thought as he took his seat next to Sakura on his normal polished stool. Built-up tension was making him feel old.

Sakura glanced to her sensei as he ordered his regular miso and eggplant dinner and smiled. He was completely tuning out Naruto's long-winded story of how hot the babes in Suna were and how he _nearly_ scored with a woman who had had twelve fingers. She silently decided that she liked these days the best – when the entire team was together, acting like the messed up family they were.

Sai would sketch an assortment of things absently on his napkin, Naruto would ramble aimlessly about everything and anything, Kakashi would pretend to ignore them unless something of interest actually presented itself, and Sakura would be between them all thinking of how good she really had things.

Being a shinobi meant life was never easy, but it certainly beat out the uneventful day-in-and-day-out routines civilians had.

Sai heaved a sigh as he stared down at the lines slowly forming into a woman on his napkin. His dark eyes would flicker to Sakura as she smiled up at Kakashi and then he'd watch as she ate. Every time she lifted those green orbs to their team leader, a twinge of tightness would build deep within his abdomen and make him feel nearly too sick to eat but every time she looked at him, he felt as though the tight pain was melting away.

Before he had a chance to realize just who the woman he was drawing was, Naruto snatched away the little white sheet and laughed like a madman. "Ooh, drawing Sakura-chan?" he held it out in front of him with both hands and turned it from side to side as he appraised it.

Both Kakashi and Sakura looked up at Naruto's incessant giggling. Sai closed his eyes and mumbled a dejected, "Oh." Warmth rose in his cheeks, but he didn't know why.

"Sakura, this is the best you've ever looked." Teased the blonde, ducking out of the medic's reach to avoid a well-aimed chakra-laden punch as she leaned across Sai's lap.

Embarrassment. That's what he was feeling, Sai concluded as he appraised the sketch too, trying desperately to ignore Sakura's small frame pressed against his. He didn't understand why though. He'd drawn Sakura plenty of times, in the nude even, and she'd been much prettier in the other drawings – her eyes were too wide in this one and her mouth a little crooked. They were imperfections that Sakura didn't really have.

"Give me that, you idiot." Sakura demanded as she slid from her stool and wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck. "Give it back."

"Mine." Naruto declared before quickly crumpling the napkin in his large hand and shoving it down the front waistband of his pants.

Kakashi watched his team's antics with mirthful pleasure. Sakura pummeled Naruto curtly over the head with her fists for being "such an idiot". Naruto sobbed in defeat and returned the napkin to the pale ANBU on the seat next to his. Sai took the paper cloth and smoothed it out on the tabletop, staring down at his second-rate draft.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes on the former ROOT operative. He knew that look. It was somewhere between longing for and needing. It should have shocked him that Sai was indeed capable of feeling what others might call 'a crush'. He had been subjected to emotional stunting as a child and didn't understand most things he felt but Kakashi knew that Sai _was_ only human, even when he didn't act it. Human's fell in love – and it appeared Sai had taken the first step towards falling.

It left Kakashi to briefly wonder if Sakura returned those feelings. They certainly had been spending a lot of time together lately – lunch dates, coffee, sleepovers (despite how juvenile it seemed).

His thought's were cut short however as the well-known beating of wings founds his ears. All four shinobi turned toward the entrance, eyes trained on the messenger bird as it completed its elegant landing.

Naruto growled. "I swear, if Baa-chan is sending my on another mission, I'll scream."

Kakashi shook his head and leaned down to stroke the large bird's head. "It's not for you, Naruto. Look at the seal – it's an ANBU assignment." Marked in gloss red and flat black ink was the universal ANBU swirl, the same one that was tattooed to his arm, Sai's and Sakura's.

With quick fingers, he untied the small scroll tied to the hawk's leg. As he sat back up, the bird took off, no doubt returning to its safe position at the bird collective. He sighed and cracked it open.

"Well?" Naruto finally asked after watching Kakashi read it for a few seconds.

"She wants a three man team: Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi and 'Sai'." He read aloud, silver brows pulling down in confusion. "She wants to see us immediately."

Sakura stood and turned to the blonde male who sat frowning at them. "Sorry, Naruto but could you…?"

He waved them on with his hand. "Sure. Go."

Sai grabbed his napkin, and shoved it in the pocket of his trousers as he came to stand at his full height.

Kakashi dispersed in his traditional method, with smoky clouds and a light pop of sound. Sai and Sakura quickly scaled the nearest building and bounded from rooftop to rooftop, feet hitting in unison. They moved this way quickly and in silence until they reached the large open windows of Tsunade's office.

They quickly entered from a side one and took their positions beside Kakashi.

"Hokage-sama." They hailed together.

Tsunade sat at her desk, slender fingers steepled beneath her nose as she gazed at them. "Your mission." She said firmly before picking up the white scroll on her polished desk and tossing it to Kakashi.

He caught it adroitly with one hand, and quickly moved to unseal it. "Kai." His eye moved over the words quickly before he looked up in surprise, passing it to Sai who stood at his left. "An undercover operation to an insane asylum? I thought those things had been done away with years ago?"

The Hokage nodded. "Most were due to advances in medical studies and understandings, but three remain open throughout the world for 'extreme cases' that 'have yet to be made sense of'."

Sai nodded as he passed the scroll to Sakura, "Will we be posing as 'extreme cases'?"

She nodded. "Yes. The three of you will be sent in to a place called Kokoro no Basho, just south of Wind's border. Those who have been inside this place have deemed it the more appropriate: 'Madhouse'. You will assume the guises of insane patients."

Sakura frowned. "That's kind of offensive, Lady Tsunade."

Certainly of all people to understand just what mental illnesses were, Sakura thought it would be Tsunade. She was the most famous medical kunoichi in the world.

"Not where you're going." Tsunade warned. "These people are a little more than just 'mentally unstable or ill'. There's a reason they've been locked up and it's not because they're your average mental health patient."

Kakashi cleared his throat, almost nervously. "Sakura, Madhouse isn't just an asylum…. It's an above maximum-security sanitarium. Most of them have a cognitive knowledge of everything they do. They're psychopaths with a purpose."

He'd heard of this place. He'd had friends return from this place and they were never the same afterward. What happened behind those walls, stayed behind those walls – that was enough to have the chill of uncertain dread climbing up each of his vertebrae like it was a ladder. He could feel each hand and foot as they pressed down, racing up his back as fast a possible.

"...So we need to become psychopaths with a purpose, too?" Sakura asked rather coyly, pink brows knitted with concern.

The Hokage nodded once. "That is the plan. You depart tomorrow morning, before dawn, escorted by ANBU Team Nineteen. Is this understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." They said together.

"A character basis will be assigned to you sometime within the course of the evening, your profiles are being created as we speak. From there, you're to change whatever is necessary to achieve your character."

Kakashi inclined his head slowly. "Hokage-sama, may I ask as to the reason behind this mission?"

She smirked. "Someone within Madhouse has been busy – one by one guards have been found tortured and killed but investigations have all come up short of a executor. You're job is to figure out who's killing these shinobi, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Dismissed."

On cue, Kakashi's smoke clouds appeared and he disappeared, leaving Sai and Sakura to walk out.

As they descended the steps of the Hokage tower, Sakura sighed heavily and rested her head on her companion's shoulder.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked.

She shook her head. "No. This just doesn't sound like it's going to be a very pleasant mission." She stuck her tongue out at him playfully when he prodded his fingers against her ticklish spot to cheer her up. "I don't like undercover ops."

Sai pursed his lips with thought. This told Sakura he didn't so readily agree with her on the disliking of undercover missions. "I rather do." He started, "By playing a persona that is not my own, I am able to gain knowledge on emotions I have yet to experience because I must pretend that I have them. Does that make sense to you?"

"I suppose. What emotion is your favorite?" She queried easily as they started back toward his apartment.

His answer took a few moments, and was not at all when she expected to hear come from his too-smart mouth. "The melting one."

"Eh?"

He faked a smile and she frowned but listened just as intently as he began explaining. "I mean the one that makes me feel like my stomach is melting and makes my head sort of…spin. It's very warm, and I like feeling it." He scratched at his bare abdomen as he awaited her response.

She nodded slowly and smiled at him. She knew that one all too well – it was love. Not a fierce love of undying passion but one like coals sitting in ones belly, a pleasing and inviting one with room to grow and the ability become a blaze. "When do you feel this _melting emotion_?"

Ebony eyes found her emerald ones as he quirked one side of his mouth up. Ah, she thought. A normal person might have pegged that face as an insulting glance, the way his eyes widened slightly and his brows rose, but she knew it was as Sai's universal go-to face for 'I really don't want to tell you/talk about it'. She nodded in understanding, telling him she wasn't going to pry any further, though curiosity was now spinning through her mind.

"I guess this means you'll have to finish the painting when we get back, huh?" Sakura finally asked as they started for the stairwell leading up to Sai's apartment. She silently prayed that they didn't run into the crazy old bag lady.

He nodded. "It will wait for me, I am sure. Unless the idiot steals it."

"Mm." She smiled warmly at him as he jimmied the key into the lock of his door to open it. He pushed open and let her in.

"Do you think we will be allowed communication where we are going?" He asked, face going blank as he gazed at the canvas from across the room. "I messed up the lighting in the flowers." He said this aloud, more to himself than to Sakura who flopped down lazily on his couch.

"I should think we'd be allowed to communicate. If we are going to be posing as murderers with all of our cognitive functions, I imagine they wouldn't want to upset us and send us off the deep end. So it only makes sense that they would."

He simply hummed and picked up his palate board.

She watched as he started on the painting once more, fixing the pink and white blossoms of the tree. She liked the conviction it held, the way the tree was bending with the storm but not breaking. The painting spoke, spoke of strengths and weaknesses, of overcoming hardships. "I think this one is my favorite, Sai."

"I think it will be one of my best when I am done." His cherry tongue peeked out from between pale lips as he concentrated.

Happily she concluded that she liked these moments the best, the ones where Sai was truly himself, the moments when he lost his worldly curiosity and found his emotional balance. He was never trying to please anyone but himself when he painted, never needed to feel in his head what emotion he tried to convey because his hand did it so elegantly for him. Each stroke, line and dot was a piece of his puzzle and the more he painted things he could name, the more he gained back what he had lost to ROOT. Yes, Sakura decided, she liked these moments with him the most because he let her see _him_.

Sai could feel her eyes watching over his shoulder as he lightly dabbed specs of red against the pale blossoms of his sakura tree. He liked it immensely when she watched though he could not explain to himself why. In fact, he liked having Sakura around in general. She was brash at times, but comfortable in her own skin and he admired that. Her scent was pleasing and while he had once deemed her ugly, because he had not known any better for her colorful features were foreign and exotic to him, he now saw the true beauty that was her own.

Considering all he liked, perhaps even loved about her, he still concluded that he did not like her eyes. They were wide and fawn like – that he supposed was not truly where his distaste lied – they were vividly green. An almost indescribable colour and he just couldn't stand it. He could not recreate it in his drawings and paintings, and thus, much to his chagrin, could not finish portraits in which Sakura's face was the focus.

He was pulled from his rumination by the soft _tck _of shinobi sandals hitting the wooden frame of his west window. Obsidian eyes shifted sideways to take in the sight of Kakashi gently stepping down from the sill, three mint-green scrolls clutched in one hand.

Their facades, he concluded.

Kakashi quickly surveyed Sai's open loft. Sakura lay sprawled comfortably on the only couch, her eyes half-lidded and focused on him, though moments ago they had bore into the canvas upon Sai's easel.

She gazed up at him with jade eyes and a frown. "Well?"

Lifting his arm, he tossed them both their selective profiles. With his hands a bit freer, he tore open his own as he relayed the information he'd gained upon receiving the scrolls. "They're giving us a bit of flexibility – we're being allowed to choose first names as they've filed everything by surname. Medical and criminal records, certificates and an assortment of other things are being sent to Kokoro no Basho as we speak."

Sai's face fell unreadably blank as he quickly read through the descriptions. Sakura's lips pursed to the right and her brows fell to a vee.

Kakashi allowed his eyes to study his profile. He was to become forty-year old _Ie-san_, a serial arsonist/murderer who had an unhealthy obsession with blonde females whose eyes were brown, women who were allegedly supposed to resemble an unrequited lover. He sighed as he read on. His first victim had been the woman that had broken his heart, and from there he had learned that he liked and even desired killing people.

Grumbling absently, Sakura allowed this new her to sink in. A matricidal, patricidal, electively mute teenager who had not only killed her parents but the parents of three other children much younger than she. The reason for her mental break was unknown but that when she gained the knowledge of a person having children, it sent her completely over the edge and the urge to kill them became overwhelming. She gave a low one-tuned whistle.

_Aya-san_. Sai simply blinked at the name. At least they'd played into his art… he was now a compulsively neat man who had killed fourteen people by stabbing each of them an even twenty times with the sharpened end of a two-inch paint brush. All of his victims were art critics who had given him bad evaluations, starting with his very first art instructor from his academy years. He slowly frowned, and while confined his new persona had formed a dedicated attachment to _Fumitaka-san_ for whom he would often act as a voice.

"This is stupid." Sakura growled, rolling up her scroll with conviction. "I'm a homicidal teenager with a raging mommy-daddy issue."

"Hn." Kakashi slowly rolled his profile up. "I like long walks on the beach at sunset, soul music and romantic comedies, on the side I kill brown-eyed blondes and set fires because the woman I love doesn't love me back… but I killed her, so..."

"I stab art critics with paint brushes, and am quite fond of Fumitaka-san. Which one of you is…?"

Sakura raised her hand even with her shoulder. "Aren't we just a friendly, sunshiny group of people?"

"Sunshiny?" Sai quirked softly as his brows knit with confusion. "I am not familiar with that term."

"It means to be bright or cheerful."

"Ah." He nodded. "The inflection in your voice meant you were using it facetiously?"

"Yes, Sai." Sakura answered with as sigh. She rubbed her temples with her fingers in slow, gentle circles.

Kakashi padded across the room and sat down on the couch near Sakura's feet. "We need full names…" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I like Ie Arashi."

Sakura's eye flickered from her hands to Kakashi where he sat at her feet. "That's not bad. I've always liked the name Unmei. So, Fumitaka Unmei." She affirmed.

"Aya Kaiga."

Kakashi stared for a short moment. "That's creative."

"Not really." Sai said with a shrug.

Sakura giggled lightly. "He was being sarcastic."

Sai frowned and turned back to his painting. His stomach felt tight again because she was laughing for Kakashi. It wasn't just Kakashi though, he reasoned. He always felt off when Sakura's attention was focused on Naruto. Was this what they called self-centered? He liked being the center of her attention but being self-centered was generally viewed from a negative point of view and he didn't want Sakura to view him negatively.

In fact he wanted just the opposite.

Sighing to himself, he began capping all of his paints. He padded lightly into his kitchenette and thoroughly rinsed his brushes underneath the warm stream of water from the faucet before resting them on the windowsill above his two-basin sink to dry. He would have to put them away when he returned.

* * *

Tsunade rested back in her chair, arms crossed beneath her breasts as Kakashi broke from his reverie-like recollection of everything that had happened to himself, Sakura and Sai just four-months prior. She was starting to realize, indicated by that wistful look in his eyes, that the events they had partaken in would only get worse from here.

The silver-haired jounin sat not uncomfortably in a softly padded armchair in front of her desk; having pulled it away from the wall quietly when he'd began his story. He rubbed his chin absently. His gaze focused on something out the window to her right for a moment but then returned to her own.

He frowned. While the dim light of her office so late in the evening merely produced shadows on his masked face, she could see that shift in expressions from his eyes. His brow drooped lightly and his eyes cast downward to his feet and they lost the light that his longing smirk had held.

"What happened after that, Kakashi?" She finally queried, breaking the pensive silence he had created at the ceasing of his words.

His exposed forefinger absently traced the seams of the padding against the wooden arm of his chair. His eyes flickered to that, then to her. "Sakura and I left to get some sleep, by that time it was very late in the evening."

The same cumbersome silence fell over them, broken in intervals by the soft tick-tocking of the analog clock on the north-facing wall. The air was thick with the warm humidity that often accompanied Land of Fire summers, and Kakashi unzipped his flak vest as he shifted position, resting his ankle over his knee with a sigh.

"Is that all that happened? You went back to your apartment and went to bed?" The Hokage frowned, pressing him for the rest of the story.

Kakashi squirmed once more. "I'm thirsty." He told her. "May I get a glass of water?"

Tsunade nodded. "I'll have Shizune get you one." She stood and crossed the room easily, her heels lightly tapping against the hard floor. She pulled the door open with a creak, and stuck her head out the door to see if her assistant was still occupying the desk at the end of the hallway.

The brunette sat slouched over a poisons textbook, the ambient light of her small desk lamp doing little to light the expansive corridor.

"Shizune, will you get us some water?"

The medic perked up, jerking her head away from her manual in a way that made her hair sway. "Y-yes, right away Lady Tsunade."

She turned back into the room and closed the door with a soft click. She stared at him for a moment. His elbow was braced against the chair with his fingers pressed against his eyes. He was slumped forward, but it wasn't in his normal, lazy and wayward slouch. It was tension and exhaustion weighing him down. And She knew all too well that subtle little groan of uneasiness.

Age was catching up to the Copy Ninja.

Yes, for a man his age he was in peak physical condition, but a normal man his age rarely faced the things he had. And shinobi so rarely lived to see so many years as Kakashi Hatake had. She frowned and slowly crossed the room again, moving back toward her desk to sit across from him once more.

He straightened, mismatched eyes of red and ash-blue finding her soft honey ones. "This light makes you look your age."

Kakashi huffed drolly, his eyes briefly closing with amusement. "I certainly feel it, and I can tell you it has nothing to do with the light." The same hand that had been pressed to his face moved and sifted his hair through his battle-knicked fingers wearily. "I'm just so tired, Tsunade."

He had dropped the formality, but she didn't mind. At this moment, they were not speaking as a commander and her soldier but as old friends. "I would imagine." Her voice was gentle and soft, like a mother's caress when her child had grown ill. "Maybe…perhaps a break from the field will do you some good."

"I can only hope." He murmured, rubbing his eyes again. "Some days it's an effort to even crawl out of bed. My head hurts, I'm always sore and my bones have started aching. I am just not as young as I used to be."

"I know how that feels." She replied. "Like the weight of the world has taken seat on your shoulders."

"…That's the explanation I've been looking for."

"Mm. I didn't realize that that's what I was feeling until I took this position." She paused as she thought through her words with deliberation. Sure of her next statement, she continued. "Take it from me, Kakashi, enjoy what years you have left, however many that may be. Be it three days or thirty years, live them with conviction. So that way when it finally does come time to say good-bye, you can be sure that you aren't leaving with regrets. The world may weigh you down, but it doesn't mean you can't keep pushing forward."

He closed his eyes and nodded, taking her words to heart. "Thank you."

"Make sure she knows that too, brat. Don't let her wallow in what she's lost."

A soft sigh escaped him. "What will you tell Naruto? When we leave, he's lost his entire team…his family."

"I'll tell him what he needs to know. About Sai, and about you and Sakura."

"I hate to abandon him like this… but I just can't do it. Not anymore." His head fell forward, his chin digging into his chest to hide the pain in his face. "I hope he understands…but I think losing Sakura will hurt him the most."

Tsunade closed her eyes for a brief moment before strumming her fingers lightly on the desk. "Tenzou will handle him. I'll let him in on what's happening and why."

Kakashi simply nodded. Shizune's soft knock echoed quietly through the room, alerting them of her presence behind the door. A second later, she'd pushed through the large wooden entry with a pitcher and two glasses. She crossed the room in silence before settling her items on the front of the Hokage's desk. She nodded briskly to Tsunade prior to turning on her heel to exit.

Kakashi's apologetic eyes barely met her worried gaze as she strode by, but she smiled faintly telling him that she understood his choice, and disappeared back to the hall.

His heart quivered and he slumped forward with his face in his hands. The tears were few, but they still managed to well at the corners of his eyes. He wasn't only saying farewell to a way of life, but the individuals that had occupied that life. Thirty years he had spent with them and the realization washed over him in waves of sorrow. Breathing deeply to regain his composure, Kakashi used his hands against his legs to push himself back up into his sitting position.

He swallowed deeply. "I'll go on, but please for everyone's sake, keep an open mind. I will be bluntly honest with you, Tsunade-sama."

"That's all I ask, Kakashi."

"After deciding our names as a group, Sakura and I did leave…"

* * *

Kakashi glanced to Sakura as they stepped out into the street from the door of Sai's apartment complex. The evening had cooled considerably in the last few hours and Sakura gently rubbed her arms with open palms to build warmth. She smiled at him warmly as they strolled beneath the street lamps at a comfortably leisured pace.

"I always liked nights like this." She told him with a quiet, hushed tone. "Cool ones, when it's not too cold, but the air is crisp. These are the best nights for stargazing."

"Hn." He hummed, glancing upward to see if Sakura's stars were out. Indeed they were, lighting the dark sky with little pinpoints of reds, blues and whites.

He could make out the various constellations he'd learned over the years with ease.

Sakura's slender hand rose above them as she pointed a single finger toward the sky. "That one, right there, is my favorite."

His eye followed her finger to a small but very bright star. "Why that one?" He asked, glancing at her as she peered upward. The light of the half-moon caught the emerald of her eyes, making them sparkle a brilliant viridian. It paled her hair to a soft almost iridescent rose, and he had to keep from reaching out and fingering the soft, colourful locks.

He sighed as he confessed to himself just why it was he knew so familiarly that look that Sai had had when he would gaze at Sakura. He had seen it on Naruto's face and he had seen in on Sakura's – but it was the same longing that his heart had grown accustomed to, just like theirs, that told him what it was that they felt. He didn't like admitting it to himself, but he'd fallen for her just as Naruto once had, and just as Sai was.

"Because it's at the center of a heart, look at the shape the stars around it make." She almost giggled as she traced the abstract curves and contours. "Do you see it?"

He nodded, the motion shaking his hair in front of his face. "Yes." Came his soft reply as they stopped outside her doorstep.

They continued peering up into the night sky until their necks hurt from craning to see the patterns and images. Kakashi almost laughed, soft cloud of his breath dancing above them in billowing rolls, as they watched the brilliant gold of a shooting star race across the darkness.

"Make a wish." She murmured, lowering her eyes to meet his with a grin.

He was too old for making wishes, he told himself, but he couldn't help it when the words slipped from his lips into the chilly air. "I wish that this mission will go off without a hitch and that we could be back home before the real heat sets in."

It was a silly thing to say. Of all the things he could 'wish' for. What about true love, longevity, world peace and all the other things someone was supposed to wish for.

Pink brows pulled down. "You aren't supposed to say it aloud. That's bad luck." Sakura teased. "But that was a good wish, much better than the one I made." She turned to her door and settled her hand against the handle. "Good-night, you jinx."

"Good-night, Sakura." He countered with a smile. "Sleep well."

"You too, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi buried his hands deep within his pockets as he continued onto his apartment. He allowed his sandals to beat lightly against the stones of the walkway. The sound was hollow and empty and echoed off alley walls as he passed them. He absently whistled a short tune, but his bird friends didn't answer and he sighed as the same weight from earlier settled between his shoulders.

The dull ache traveled to his lower back, pinching sharply when he didn't stand just right. He heaved a heavy sigh as he leapt up to the sill of his window, balancing skillfully on the edge as he shimmied open his window. When the space was enough for him to fit through, he did, taking precaution not to step on his bed while his shoes were still on.

Both feet hit the wooden floor with a thud as he stepped from the extended window-shelf. He didn't bother to glance at the clock as he toed out of his sandals, kicking them under his bed as he slipped from his vest and hitae-ate. When they met the floor, it made a heavy sound, one much louder than the one he'd made coming it. Next to find the hardwood was his shirt, which was thrown to some unimportant place in his room, and then his pants, which he lifted with his foot to toss toward the door. He would have to do laundry when he returned.

His briefs snuggly hugged his lower portion as he padded into the connected bathroom to brush his teeth. He made a note to shower in the morning before they left as he rinsed and spit. Then he walked back into his bedroom and climbed into bed, pulling the heavy shuriken patterned quilt up to his shoulders.

It wasn't long before he fell asleep, eyelids growing heavy from stargazing through his open window.

Morning came much too soon for the three of them. There was no wake up call like waking to find members of ANBU team Nineteen occupying one's bedroom; members who had been watching you sleep for the last hour or so.

Kakashi brushed passed a man in a hawk mask idly to take his morning shower and find civilian-like clothes because his normal garb wasn't going to pass as inconspicuous. After a quick five-minute wash, he pulled on an old, worn pair of jeans and a long-sleeved turtleneck. Overtop of that, he slipped into one of the old beaten zip-up sweatshirts he had and a leather jacket. He packed his mission bag with other items of a similar nature, his toiletries and his underwear. An eye-patch over his sharingan soon followed. With a resigned noise, he looked to the ANBU that stood silently waiting in the corner. "Lead the way, Genma."

Sai, upon waking, waved to his masked comrade awkwardly before dressing in the clothes he'd laid out the night before – they were the casual clothes that he normally wore off duty: the long sleeved, high-collared black shirt and matching pants. He grabbed his pre-packed bag and nodded readily to the Hyuuga woman who wore the mouse mask.

Sakura mumbled angrily to her fox-faced escort, telling him off as she showered and dressed in black, standard issue pants and her favorite yellow tee shirt. She quickly gathered her essentials in her bag and threw it over her shoulder as she emerged from the closet.

Team Seven and Team Nineteen convened together just outside the village gates.

"From here on out," The hawk masked man started, "You're undercover. You are being transported from confinement in the cells beneath Konoha to Kokoro no Basho. Is all understood?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes; Sai simply took up his false smile and Sakura nodded.

"Operation Kokoro no Basho, now commencing."

Sakura stared wide-eyed as the mouse-masked woman slapped cold chakra-restraining cuffs onto her wrists. Her fox-faced friend followed the same example as he cuffed Sai's hands. The fourth member of the team, one with a cat mask who had been waiting for them just outside Konoha's gates, put Kakashi's on.

Kakashi sighed, shifting his hands and wrists against the wide metal bracelets. Tsunade certainly was going all out to keep up appearances. Then again, they were supposed to be raving, homicidal lunatics – he could understand the precautions. He glanced to Sakura her stared down at her restraints with awe. Sai on the other hand seemed not to notice or care.

The heavy clank of chains falling from Genma's pack nearly made Sakura jump. She watched curiously as they attached the long, heavy chains to small loops on their shackles. Immediately the weight pulled her forward, she nearly toppled into her ink-using friend. Even Sai wobbled slightly when the chain was hooked to his cuffs.

Kakashi grunted as they attached the links to his loops. That was much heavier than he remembered; perhaps Tsunade had increased that too as a safeguard.

"I should like to paint this." Sai said ecstatically. "I should like to paint it red, like blood."

Well at least he was getting into character, Kakashi mused as the ANBU began pulling them along at a comfortable walking pace. He glanced to each member of their escort, noting they had no reaction to Sai's offhand 'art' comment.

"You should paint it _with_ blood." Sakura cackled.

He supposed it was Unmei speaking now, and he wasn't really sure he wanted to speak with her, so he remained silent.

"Oh, good idea Unmei-chan."

Sakura nearly laughed at Sai's over-excited statement. "Of course it was." She glanced to Genma and smirked viciously. "You should paint it with that one's blood. Use the blood from his heart. I bet it's a real deep color. A real pretty red."

Sai nodded vigorously. "You think? I will paint with it for you, Unmei-chan."

Kakashi frowned. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like this mission. He already didn't like Sakura's new personality – it was rather vile and vicious. Of course he knew that when push came to shove, neither he nor Sai would be any more pleasant. It was a sobering and bitter fact that however long they were gone for, they would be these nasty people.

Did Sakura need to come out of the gates bloodthirsty, though?

That was the least of his problems. The blunt pain from last night was in his lower back again and the taxingly ridiculous weight of their chain was not making matters any better for him. Every few steps the dull ache would sharpen and he couldn't help the pained noises that whispered past his lips.

Sakura could hear Kakashi sigh to himself every couple of steps. He sounded dejected and uncomfortable. She couldn't say she felt any better, without any chakra be it medical or otherwise, each leg and foot got heavier and harder to move. Sai made no complaints in front of her, but she was certain he felt it too. It was surprising really how much she'd learned to rely on the natural flow of it through her body – the working civilian life must really, really suck. Not only that but this was going to be the longest trip of her life. What was usually a three-day journey was going to take at least a week at this pace.

Four hours later found Kakashi sweating in pain and the humidity, Sakura hissing brutal curses at their ANBU escorts and Sai rubbing red sores on the balls of his feet. It was a unanimous decision amongst the Team Seven colleagues to sit when Genma signaled that they could, as they were going to rest for a while.

The heavy silver chain thudded and clanked against the dusty path, raising puffs of earth. Kakashi watched as Genma and Hinata exchanged a few words before splitting up and disappearing into the forested area around them.

"Ouch." Sakura hissed under her breath as she slipped her tiny fingertips beneath the metal on her wrist. "These things are awful."

"You learn to ignore the chafing when you can't lift the chain anymore." Kakashi assured her with an eye-crinkling smile. "Then it's not just your wrists and hands that hurt, it's your whole damned arm."

Her eyes rolled. "I wish I didn't believe you."

Sai frowned and lifted his hand to his chin with thought. "If they're treating us like criminals, are they going to feed us like criminals? I'm not even sure what criminals eat."

Ebony and Emerald eyes found Kakashi's and they were wide with uncertainty. He merely shrugged. "Maybe the food will be decent if good ol' Genma is in a giving mood… I don't think he liked the whole painting with his heart's blood bit though. That was a bit deranged…" He pursed his lips. "We've eaten worse than simple rations issued for prisoners though, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Sakura muttered something to herself before leaning back against Sai, who sat watching two butterflies just off the road flutter and flit around each other in their own little world, dancing. He leaned forward and easily recreated the image in the dust with his index finger.

Kakashi watched as he added to the rather pretty picture with the figures of their escort. He captured their masks in as great a detail as he could with the sandy medium. Still, their likeness was uncanny. He greatly admired Sai's artistic talent – the most he could produce was a detailed stick figure, with awkward gawky clothes and hair. He supposed that what he lacked in artistic skills he made up for in shinobi ones.

From a physical standpoint, Kakashi could see why Sakura might return Sai's feelings. He was an attractive young man, very talented with so much potential. He was almost always genuine with her, a trait Sakura seemed to bring out in every one she met, just like Naruto, though to a much lesser extent. Sakura also liked helping people, and Sai was one of those people that needed help – she'd taught him so much. He had come far with his social skills and all because that pink haired nymph had offered to take him under her wing when he'd offered the same to her in ANBU.

He looked toward his ankle as Sakura's booted toes lightly bumped it. She blinked her eyes at him and smiled. "Try not to think so hard. Whatever it is that's on your mind, it's making you frown."

He had so many things on his mind. At the forefront of it was her possible relationship with Sai, while more toward the back was the possibility of everything that could go wrong on this mission. He wasn't usually a pessimist – he was more of a realist at heart – but he couldn't help the nagging feeling something was very wrong about this job. Just thinking about spending any allotted amount of time in Madhouse was unsettling. The hair on his arms literally stood.

He sighed and for a moment closed his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind… what did you wish for last night?"

She grinned, small dimples poking in her cheeks. "I can't tell you. My wish won't come true if I do."

"Right, right." He shifted to stretch and it sent an acute pain to pinch his lower back. He grunted with his voice full of pain, and could feel the eyes of his teammates fall to him once more, but he continued focusing on his ankle as he breathed deeply in an attempt to will away the tenderness spreading between and above his hips.

"Are you okay?" came Sakura's worried inquiry. She settled in front of him on her knees before taking his face in her hands and physically lifting his head and gaze to meet hers. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't tell her he was feeling… _old._ "My back." He mumbled, "I'll be fine."

"You don't look it." Sakura watched him with knitted pink brows. He looked like he was all but ready to pass out. If he wasn't feeling up-to-par why hadn't he said anything? He knew he could trust her and she could've fixed whatever it was that was ailing him before leaving Konoha. A part of her wanted to berate him, but the other half knew he wouldn't listen because he was too busy trying to rid himself of his aches before they reached Kokoro no Basho. Leave it to Kakashi to put off needed medical attention.

"Well I will be." He assured her. "I promise."

She nodded and he watched as she moved back to sit against Sai but all three of them stopped what they were doing when Genma's uniformed person flickered before them. They stared upward at his masked face in anticipation of his orders.

"We've scouted out a safe place to camp nearly ten kilometers east of here." He spoke; as though they were on they weren't undercover, with a friendly tone and a relaxed stance. "There's no way any of you will make it there lugging this beast around." Genma continued with a long, gloved finger pointing to the chain. "…I'm willing to break standard protocol for this sort of mission if you all promise to keep cover to the best of your abilities."

Kakashi sighed with relief, unnoticing of Sakura's glance toward him. She smiled with realization as Genma unchained Kakashi first. He'd seem Kakashi's little spell too, she concluded. The hawk mask nodded the slightest bit when he took her wrists in his hands, slipping the tiny key into the lock hole before dispelling the seal that accompanied it. She returned the small gesture with a head tilt of her own. She rubbed at her wrists with relief when the cuffs dropped away, clanging heavily against the still-connected chain.

As Genma moved onto Sai, Sakura stood and stretched her arms above her head by first pulling one over it and then the other. Her shoulders popped quietly and she let out a breath of contentment. Kakashi, on the other hand, still sat on the ground next to her legs breathing deeply. She stooped down once more and fitted her hand underneath his arm to hoist him up.

"Come on." She said, pulling his arm. "I can take a look at you when we get to camp."

"Sakura…"

"Don't even start with me, Kakashi-sensei. You're in pain. We can all see it. Letting me look at you will only hurt your pride a little." She held up the fingers of her other hand less than a few inches apart to show him just how little damage his pride would take. "Up you go."

He sighed and allowed her to help him to his feet, pain shooting up his spine. He inhaled deeply to still it, glancing to Sakura only to find her watching him extremely close. His skin tingled under her serious gaze but the feeling wasn't completely unwelcome.

As soon as Sai was released from his bindings, Genma sealed the hefty chain into a packing scroll and signaled for them to following him. They leapt up into the high branches of the deciduous, leafy trees above them and moved quickly.

Their calculated steps hit the boughs beneath them with soft pats.

Sakura watched Kakashi, who was just a step behind her, from the corner of her eye. He kept speed with them, but she could see the grimaces that formed his facial expressions each time his feet touched down on the wooden bark beneath him. She wanted to smack him upside the head for letting himself suffer but he was notorious for putting off medical attention until it was absolutely necessary, even then he still made a big deal about it. She could count on one hand the number of times he had willingly come to her, or wanted her, to heal an ailment of his.

Whatever his reason for not disclosing his pain, she would find it out later. For now, she focused ahead, watching as Genma led them ahead. The presence of the other two members on his team did not go unnoticed by the medic but they were bringing up the rear from far enough behind that they only passed her mind fleetingly.

A single ash-blue eye observed the pink-haired kunoichi. Kakashi, despite the feeling of a plethora senbon being inserted along his lower spine, couldn't help but shamelessly gaze at Sakura's shapely backside. He was just waiting for her to look back and catch him, or for Sai to look over and see that he couldn't keep his eye to himself.

The last thing he wanted was to make the pale artist feel anymore uncomfortable than he already did with the new emotions he was starting to experience. Jealousy, on top of everything else, was not going to help the mission move along smoothly. Sai was a decent actor but Kakashi feared what could happen if he was forced to deal with real-life passions while trying to fake his character's.

Kakashi knew, that despite his own affections for Sakura, that Sai deserved a chance to actually _feel_. The artist was young and love was new for him, Kakashi was aging and he had had his fair share of love over the years… But he wanted Sakura for himself. He actually felt a surge of jealousy when thinking of her with the awkward member of team seven. He tried to tell himself that he was more mature than that, but the burn in his chest told him otherwise…

Damn it, he thought. At this rate he concluded that he was going to hell in a hand basket, but he was certainly going to enjoying this part of the trip.

The rest of the trip to their camping spot went silently, but a intensifying tension was beginning to fall on top of their shoulders. Only footfalls from sandals and boots upon oak tree branches broke the intense void.

The sun ahead was starting to sink below the purple ice-capped mountains decorating the horizon line. With each passing minute, the sky became dark and dusty pink, with flares of orange and purple embellishing the low and puffy clouds. The shadows cast by the setting sun danced passed, darkening the underbrush beneath the canopy of leaves above them.

Sakura could feel Hinata's gentle flare of chakra as they neared the clearing in which they would camp. It was about time, too. The closer they got to Wind, the warmer the air got. Her shirt was sticking to her sweaty back and made her feel filthy.

Her cautious eyes fell back to Kakashi, and then swept to Genma and Sai. Beads of sweat were forming a glossy sheen on the brows of her teammates, and she was sure that if Genma dropped his mask, his brow too would be sweating. At least she wasn't the only one the heat was affecting.

The area was heavily wooded and smells of pine. The forest floor was covered with soft grasses and moss, and was silent beneath their feet as they hit the ground. It took Kakashi only moments to realize that it was rather comforting; their current surroundings would do well to protect them from the enemy. Small sedges and bushes closely hugged the trunks of girthy trees and the awning of green leaves above them was full with very few skylights to reveal them from above.

With a wheezy grunt, Kakashi gently lowered himself down into the moss. A hiss of discomfort passed his lips preceding a string of foul curses as Sakura and Genma appeared beside him. She was just not going to let this go…

The young medic crouched down on her haunches in front of him, tiny hand pressing its palm against his forehead to quickly check for a fever. "Will you lay down for me?"

Kakashi sighed, gave her a pointed look and stretched out along the ground before his eye narrowing suspiciously on Genma as he silently stood over them. Sakura's hands started to hum quietly with the radiant green glow of her medical chakra as she placed them against his abdomen. One on his left hip with the other on his right just below his ribs; her brow creased as her chakra invaded his system and she began examining him. He could feel the cool tickle of her chakra as she assessed him, poking and prodding until she reached his lower back.

"Aha." she chimed. "You've strained a few ligaments and bruised the muscles supporting your lower vertebrae." Her tongue peeked out from the corner of her mouth as she explored his injury further. "You've also suffered from some decalcification of your bones. Are you taking any multivitamins?"

"No." he answered flatly.

"Okay." Sakura nodded. "I can ease the tension in your back and can repair the bruising, that should help the pain immensely. You'll be a little tender but nothing too terrible."

He nodded and closed his eyes as the chill began weaving and crisscrossing beneath his skin, loosening the strain in his back. Kakashi sighed contently. That felt exponentially better – like years of stress had been lifted from him briefly.

"This won't pose as a permanent treatment but it should be enough as long as you don't do anything too strenuous, okay, Sensei?" She smiled warmly at him and gave him a joking pat on the head as the glow from her hands faded away. "You aren't as young as you used to be." Sakura teased as she pushed herself up to stand once more.

Kakashi rolled his eyes as Genma snorted behind his mask, warding off sniggers of amusement by turning away from the student and teacher to call out to the other ANBU members.

"Let's get started by setting up a perimeter. A quarter-mile diameter at most." It wasn't just seconds after that the three answering to Captain Shiranui were gone, performing their task without question.

Kakashi sat up and watched Genma as he pulled a tiny scroll from out from within one of his kunai pouches. Grasping it firmly in his right hand, the ANBU captain flicked his wrist sharply, snapping open the roll of paper. When open, Kakashi observed, the scroll was only but twelve inches long by six inches wide and bore a large red kanji for fire.

Genma dropped it to the ground and brought his first and middle fingers to his lips and activated the seal with a simple "Katsu." Immediately the paper sparked before a small crackling fire emerged from it. The blaze glowed warmly with each dance and flicker of the yellow-orange light.

Sai sat by the fire, sketchbook in hand. Kakashi felt the corners of his mouth tilt heavenward as the artist peeked at Sakura, who was unfurling her bedroll. His dark eyes would look back down at his moving hand and continue with his illustrations of her.

Perhaps, Kakashi mused idly, when they returned from Kokoro no Basho he could give the young man some pointers and help him muster up the confidence to finally ask her out. Regardless of his own romantic feelings for the medic, Kakashi just couldn't picture it ever working out between them, what with the age difference and his once being her teacher. This was a girl he'd known since before puberty, not some woman he'd met a few weeks ago.

He allowed his mind to wander on through the night. Only a few sparse words were shared during supper, which consisted of standard issue rations and a few handfuls of wild berries from nearby bushes. Sai and the two nameless ANBU members turned in for the night first while Sakura, Kakashi, Genma and Hinata sat silently around the small fire. The two women would occasionally share a bit of chitchat, gossiping about Ino Yamanaka's newest plaything or a set of sexy heels they'd seen but couldn't afford at the time. It was all mindless banter to take their minds off of the heaviness of the mission ahead.

Not long after that did they go to bed also.

* * *

"The next three days followed much the same routine. Moving freely, we were able to make up for time lost walking and arrived at Kokoro no Basho in just over seventy-two hours. Along the way, Sakura would ask on occasion if my back was feeling better, and for the most part it did. As we got closer, we didn't really exchange any words. The same thought crossed through every one's minds: 'what was it like' or 'how long was this going to take'? I still thought on the idea of Sai and Sakura having a relationship… but usually those valued thoughts were cut short when my back pain would flare up again." He paused. "In retrospect, I _should_ have mentioned my pains to you, or at the very least, Sakura before leaving Konohagakure so that a more extensive treatment could have been performed."

"But you didn't…"

"But I didn't, and I don't regret that decision for even a moment. I hate to think what could have happened if someone…say, Genma… had accompanied them instead of me simply because back pain deemed me unfit for the job." He admitted, nose scrunching as a look of disgust crossed his masked face. She wasn't sure just where that harsh emotion was being placed or directed, but she certainly knew it was fierce enough to have her lean back in her chair to be further away from it.

However, it was good he was allowing these things to pass. Kakashi wasn't really a talker at heart, and she knew that telling her everything so intimately was taking a lot from and of him. He was literally laying his heart on the table before her; letting her into that walled mind of his – freeing the locked away thoughts he so rarely shared, even with himself. Tsunade's respect for him swelled like a balloon did when air was blown into it.

His small admittance of feelings for Sakura was surprising, but she wasn't completely caught off guard by it. A part of her had expected to hear it eventually. She'd watched it develop over time from some small spark just as he'd watched his former student develop over time from some small girl. So, if she really allowed herself to think on it, it was a long time coming. After all, he was a grown man and Sakura was now a mature woman.

She sighed and tipped her head back, eyes closed. The Hokage listened as Kakashi moved from his seat to pour himself another glass of water. The glass of the pitcher clinked lightly against his cup followed by the soft whispering sounding of water moving from one container to the other. Silence fell over them for a moment before the same bubbling whisper found her ears again and she cracked a single eye to see why.

Kakashi stood at her desk, carefully holding the jug above her own glass, filling it just short of the rim. He settled the pitcher up her desk once more and picked up his glass and returned to his seat, all without saying a word. She watched as he lowered the mask from his nose, drinking deeply the cold water before leaning forward to rest his forearms upon his thighs.

"Are you angry with our decision, Tsunade?" he finally asked, now visible lips shaping themselves around the question.

She righted herself and gazed at him with a knit between her brows. "No. I really do understand, Kakashi. I was faced with the same choice long ago and I never thought I would return to this place… but I did." he watched her with half-lidded eyes. "I can only hope that you and she both are able to find just what it is you're looking for, be it peace of mind or just some fresh air. So, no, I am not angry. I'm saddened by it, but I will not stand in your way when I too know that sometimes an escape from everything is what helps the most."

"Thank you." He spoke softly.

An easy silence passed over them after that, marked only by the clock and their gentle breathing. A part of both of them wished that Sakura were with them as they did this, but Kakashi didn't want to upset the young medic any further and as Sakura's mentor and a woman who cared greatly for her, Tsunade agreed that this way was for the best.

And perhaps, it was best for Kakashi too to get all of this off of his chest, off his shoulders.

He gazed at her wistfully, "…I still don't know what she wished for."

A warm laugh simmered from her pink lips, shaking her shoulders and chest with tremors of laughter. He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes and she sobered quickly. "What is it?"

Tsunade watched as something akin to guilt lit that mismatched gaze of his. "I know it's ridiculous to ask, and even more absurd for me to actually consider it, but do you think… do you think I really…"

"No. Absolutely not." The Hokage avowed sternly. "It was sheer coincidence."

He nodded then sipped from his glass again. "Mm."

"Shiranui-san and I will be having a discussion." She mused as she waited for him to continue his accounts.

Kakashi frowned. "Don't punish him. Sakura and I probably wouldn't be here if he hadn't broken protocol. Please."

"I won't be punishing him because I do understand that what he did for you may have been the weight tipping the life and death scale in your favor, but he will be receiving a slap on the wrist for not informing me of his actions prior to your departure from Konoha." She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hand. "I would have given him the money for the hotel room so he didn't have to pay out of pocket for it."

He leaned back in the chair, firmly resting his arms on the rests of his chair. "Thank you, again…" She bowed her head in response.

He breathed out heavily, resigned to go forward with her request.

_**~)) … ((~**_

**A/N: **This story, and its future plot, is much darker than I originally intended. As I wrote it, things became more twisted and the metaphorical lines began blurring and this heap of rather sadistic fanfiction was born. This is most definitely not what I had planned and I only hope I can do it's obscurity proper justice. I'm still learning.

I have also altered the way certain things happened in canon for plot-device's sake.


	2. A Place of Minds (Kokoro no Basho)

**The Reticent**

_**~)) … ((~**_

**Warning:** Things from here on out become much more violent and disturbing. If you are uncomfortable with violent acts and the likes of the obscure, this is the time to back out.

By **Lady Ryden**

_**~)) …**_** Chapter 2: A Place of Minds (Kokoro no Basho) **_**… ((~**_

_You'll be first against the wall._

_Come on test me,_

_You'll be first to take the fall._

_**~)) … ((~**_

Kakashi had never considered that just the outer appearance of an edifice could instill what he knew to be the beginning of deeply ingrained fear. Behind an enclosure at least eight metres high, lackluster brown paint peeled in excess from the walls of the actual building to reveal weatherworn and deteriorating bricks, ones laid when the foundation had first been constructed. Centuries-old trees cradled the building in their dead embrace, corpulent and cracked branches curled around corners like fingers and hugged the roof at sharp angles.

Kokoro no Basho was nestled in the belly of a small ravine, surrounded on all sides by precarious and rocky hills that made one wary of moving too quickly. As he took in the trashy appearance of it all Kakashi began to understand why the trees enfolded the building as they did, they had struggled to find sunlight to stay alive.

The age-old asylum oozed the essence of impending death.

In his observations, the scrunching of Sai's nose did not go unnoticed by the Copy Ninja, for the small valley they were slowly trekking through smelled of rancid decay. Sakura too made a face at the awful odor. If he had to guess where the smell was coming from, he'd say it was due to the obviously rotting trees and perhaps dying animals, though he was unsure just as to where and why the animals were dead. It was a believable theory though; he hadn't spotted any wild life for the past hour or so when sightings earlier had been quite frequent.

Sakura cleared her throat when her steps faltered against the precarious terrain.

The closer they got to Madhouse_,_ the uneasier each of them felt. Shivers of worry raced through them, shaking their spines. In every sense of the words, Kokoro no Basho was sickeningly eerie. Odd sounds emanated from within the towering walls, on which browning climbing vines resided. The needled points were digging viciously into the cement holding the stones together, splitting it in spider web patterns where it had managed to break through.

Kakashi was certain that if they listened closely enough they could hear the quiet scuttle of gangly-legged spiders as they crafted their webs in the branches and undergrowth of lifeless foliage.

"This is a real picker-upper, isn't it?" Sai hissed quietly, lightly elbowing Sakura so that he might have all of her attention. "It reminds me of those haunted houses in the scary movies that you're so fond of, Unmei-chan. I wish to draw it for you."

"Why thank you, Kaiga-kun." She murmured, smirking as she ran her fingers through falsely plum-colored hair. His fingers itched to sift through his own hair, now died a sobering, earthy russet to hide his true identity. Only Sai remained _au-natural _but he hadn't needed to change. Unlike Sakura and Kakashi, his face had yet to make it into the bingo books.

Kakashi wasn't particularly fond of his new hair, or Sakura's, but he had to admit that the process she used to make it permanent for at least six-months was intriguing. He hadn't been aware that medical chakra could be transferred into inanimate objects, nor had he known that once it was flowing through it Sakura could mold it to her liking. However amazing the beginning process, a part of him would always remember the vicious sting of having chakra-induced hair-dye imbedded into each and every hair follicle.

"What do you think, Arashi-san? Would you like him to draw you one too?"

Kakashi's heavy gaze slanted toward them unbelievingly as he broke from his musings, brows knitted together sternly. They were certainly wasting no time. "I think you're both demented."

"Oh lighten up." Sakura sneered, getting into character. Her emerald gaze fell upon the ANBU team leader. "Hey, bird face."

Genma didn't respond, which earned him a foul name from the medic's lips.

Sai frowned as they came to the large iron gates within the stone wall. Once they passed through them, they would no longer be themselves. They would be their new personas as Unmei, Kaiga and Arashi. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like this at all. The aura of death that surrounded Kokoro no Basho was unmistakable. Wails of pain echoed through the valley. And for once in his life, he was thankful for the desensitization he'd received from ROOT. It allowed him to easily keep at bay the emotion that would make others crazy – be it fear or something else. Tapping into that sense of empty calm, Sai allowed himself to fully become Kaiga.

Kakashi grunted as they halted before the towering barricade. The chakra signatures of low-level shinobi patrolling the inner walls could be felt, and so it was reluctantly that he embraced Arashi but not before Genma pressed something small and cold into his hand, with a plastic attachment. He glanced down, small golden key dully gleaming up at him from his palm.

"What is this?" He half-whispered, fingering the attached tag marked _7. _

"Safeguard." The Captain murmured. "When we passed near Suna, I rented a room. So just incase something goes awry, you can transport there using Yondaime's technique. I left you a kunai marker as well." Kakashi's eyes widened in response. "I just wanted to make sure… you know… that…"

"Thanks." Pale fingers closed around the key, gripping it protectively. Had they been in any other place, Kakashi would have pulled his close friend into a hug. "You didn't have to."

"I know." he answered, "I wanted to. This place… it's unreal. Please, be careful."

"We will be." Kakashi assured his friend with a nod.

Putting it off no longer, Genma handed the storage scroll holding the chain to Hinata and began the complex process of unlocking the seals keeping the looming metal doors closed. The mouse-masked woman freed the chain and for appearances sake easily locked the restraints on their wrists for the last time.

They could get through this, Sakura thought confidently. If everything went according to plan, they would find the subject easily and take him out without a hitch. Their job would be done and they could go home happily. Sai would be able to finish the painting that spoke to her so.

* * *

Kakashi took a pause from speaking to finish off the rest of the water in his glass. His head turned and he gazed out at the village nestled safely in dim lights from street lanterns and the apartments of night owls.

It looked so _serene_. But he knew beneath that calm exterior laid a violent and bloody past, one of which he was so deeply tied to he wasn't sure he could ever truly escape his loyalties to Leaf. This was ultimately the hardest decision of his life. In his many years as a shinobi, after this last mission and the loss of Sai, he had seen one too many deaths and his soul could no longer just _deal_ with them. He couldn't put them aside and simply live with those losses anymore, he needed time to grieve and to work things out.

_Shit_. Was this what they called a mid-life crisis? No, he was having second thoughts.

He steeled himself against his racing mind and inhaled slowly and deeply. "I'm going to miss this place."

Tsunade nodded slowly, lacing her fingers beneath her chin. She rested her head against them, tilting her head slightly to the right. She watched him with weary amber eyes "No matter where you decide to go, Kakashi, Konohagakure will always have a place for you."

He said nothing to this but the slight shift of his eyes told her that he acknowledged her words. Kakashi stood and padded lightly toward the large bay window. As he passed her desk he set his glass down and continued to shuffle toward the window until he stood before it. He rested his forearm against the frame and looked out over the entirety of the city that had been his home for all of his life. A city he had gone through wars for, had risked his life for, had lost everything but his life for. No, he could never really leave. His heart would always remain within those walls, within those green gates that had welcomed him home from every mission.

"We thought that Kokoro no Basho was fearsome from the outside… but we were wrong. Nothing, no amount of training, could have prepared us for what we found inside that crumbling barrier." His words were dark, vibrating with malice.

Tsunade refrained from encouraging him onward, knowing that he would continue at his own pace when he was content enough with the state of his inner battles. The Hokage so wished that Sakura was here – just one last good-bye would suffice her. She wanted to wrap her arms around her pink-haired protégée and tell her that everything was okay, to tell her that the pain of losing a loved one would eventually subside but she didn't want to lie. Lying to the young medic would only damage her further and more emotional baggage was something she did not need.

"I…" he started before pausing briefly, "…The first night away from that hellhole… I had nightmares and I…" he paused and held his breath momentarily before releasing it. "Even as a child I didn't wet the bed. There was absolutely nothing I could do to stop seeing what I saw when I went to sleep." His admittance came softly, strained by embarrassment and anger. "Sometimes I'm scared to close my eyes, Tsunade."

"We are all at one point." She replied earnestly. "There would be something wrong with you if you weren't, Kakashi."

Kakashi hummed and closed his eyes. "When those gates closed behind us, everything changed…"

* * *

The creak of hold hinges echoed through the valley, signaling the departure of ANBU Team Nineteen. Sakura, who had been all confidence just moments before fell deathly silent. Sai huddled close to the medic's side, fingers lightly touching her arm.

Kakashi busied himself and quickly counted the number of low-level shinobi guards within sight: _three_… _seven… twelve_. Twelve in total patrolling this side of the building. Assumingly, there were twelve more on the other side, and a few in between. The main establishment was massive, easily towering ten stories high above them. A slightly shorter building was connected to it at various floors and gave Kakashi a slim idea as to the length of the establishment – easily over three hundred feet.

It was much bigger than he'd expected.

"Aya, Ie and Fumitaka." A venomous voice found their ears.

They turned their heads in unison to find tall but stout woman striding easily toward them with brisk steps. Like the guards patrolling, she wore an official olive drab uniform but her shoulders were decorated with eight golden bars. Kakashi guessed she was one of the commanders. Shinobi wise, he bet she could easily have cleared chuunin, perhaps even jounin. She was a figure of authority.

Those thoughts were proven facts as she came to stand before them, erect and official before barking orders to the lanky guard holding the end of their chain restraint. As she spoke, her graying hair, which was pulled into a bun at the base of her neck, trembled and the plumpness of her apple-cheeks reddened.

"Welcome to Kokoro no Basho," There was nothing welcoming about her tone, however. "Compared to that walk-in-the-park piece of shit confinement the lot of ya' had in Konohagakure this place will be your own personal Hell. But ya' deserve to be here, don't ya'?"

Sakura glared at the woman with dark eyes and a nasty frown. Sai shifted uncomfortably at her side, placing his hand at the small of her back. The woman in uniform made him quite uncomfortable; her bronzy hazel eyes were flat and lacked any natural mirth. Artistically, the grayscale of her eyes would be easy to recreate in terms of colour, but he would never be able to capture such… a lack of emotion. That fact led him to a question he didn't _really_ want to know the answer to: had she been a happy woman at one time, with sparkling and bright eyes?

Kakashi smirked at the commander. "Don't you have a sharp tongue?"

"Chi-san," the woman was speaking to the guard again. "Take them to their quarters. Floor seven."

The boy's narrow eyes widened slightly as though he couldn't believe the words that had come from her mouth. With a shake of his head he mustered the courage to reply. "Of course, Mio-sempai." Chi answered before tugging the chain with a forceful jerk strong enough to make those attached to it look to him with surprise. He was so tall and awkward that he looked like the dead trees that held the building like it was their lover; such strength from him was shocking. Chi began leading them toward the entryway doors of the larger building.

"I want the tall bastard in with Mugetsu." Mio snapped once more before striding out of sight at the side of the building.

_Oh, a roommate_. Kakashi sneered in thought as Chi tapped on the door three times with the toe of his boot. Shortly after, it was pushed and held open by a shorter man of medium build and short blonde hair. Behind him, the hallways were dark, darker than Kakashi was uncomfortable with.

"Psychopaths and vampires." Sai muttered to himself, though it was loud enough for Kakashi and Sakura to hear as well as the two guards.

Chi said nothing, while the other one rolled his eyes, and stepped through the threshold as a loud, blood-curdling scream echoed off the corridor walls. The shrill screech shook Sakura to her core, causing her hands to quiver a little. To comfort her, Sai took hold of her wrist and lightly rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb in small circles. The gangly guard pulled them along into the poorly lit first floor, staring straight ahead like he was more scared of what could appear in front of him rather than behind him.

This peculiar act made Kakashi glance about cautiously as soon as the door closed behind them with a solid thud. Surely there was no one that bad this building that made a weak shinobi turn his back on three quite powerful ones. There was absolutely no way their signatures went without being noticed, even with the restraints on, their chakra was still a part of them. He breathed in deeply and urged Sai forward when his steps faltered but he too stopped when the smell inside registered with him.

_Blood._

The air _reeked_ of blood, coppery, over-powering, freshly spilt blood. It reeked of death and disembowelment, two things he'd come to know well on the field of battle. A low rumble heralded another scream and made his stomach tumble inside him, forcing bile to rise inside of his throat. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He growled, pressing a fist against his lips to will back the urge to vomit.

"Shut it, you pussy." Sakura snapped from the front of their small line. She could smell it too. The scent was even more rotten than the outer walls. It was widely known in their village that Kakashi had a nose better than any Inuzuka's and she knew his discomfort was because he was smelling things that neither she nor Sai could. There was no part of her that envied him in these moments.

Footfalls against dirty tiles were almost silent in comparison to the thundering of their hearts. Each passing moment the tension rose higher until it was all but palpable. For such a large building it was odd they hadn't run into any of the other patients. If this was some sick joke on Tsunade's part she had certainly succeeded. Sakura must have been thinking along the same lines too because in the next moment she had Chi thrown against the wall with her forearm pressed against his neck to draw attention.

But no one came.

Sai quickly followed, straightening to his full height nearly even with their escort. "Do you have any children, Chi-kun?" The artist cooed with an even, sickeningly sweet tone.

""Whaa…?" The guard stuttered, groping at Sakura's arm to remove it. "Please, let me go." Genuine fear passed through the man's brown eyes forcing tears to well in the corners. He pulled weakly at Sakura's arm again, trying to free himself before she cut off all of his air. "Please, Fumitaka-san…" he pleaded.

"I ask you a question," Sai said, tilting his head. "Do you have any children?"

"No. No, I don't. I don't even have a girlfriend…please let me go." His entire face was reddening from lack of oxygen. He gasped loudly as Sakura pressed her wrist a little more firmly against his trachea before releasing him.

Chi's hand rushed to rub at his throat with shock. "I… I don't want any trouble."

"You don't have children and are male. There's a good chance that you won't have an issue with any of us." Kakashi quickly added. Sakura smirked brazenly at him, teeth and all. "Kaiga, why don't you share some of your art with Chi-kun?"

"With pleasure." He purred. Chi's eyes widened with fear as Sai contorted himself in a way that allowed him to reach into his backpack with his restraints still on to grab his sketchbook. When he had what he wanted, he shimmied his bag back into place and opened his spiral pad to reveal an assortment of sketches from people to animals in great detail. "What do you think?"

"Whaa… what do you mean?"

"I mean, what do you think of my art. Do you like it?"

Chi allowed his gaze to fall upon the drawings before him before his eyes flickered back to Sai's face. "I…I think they're very good. I envy your talent."

"Is that all?" Sai pressed, tilting his head like a dog might. His inky black eyes narrowed. "Are you lying?"

"Fuck, no." His hand moved to his hair nervously before sifting through the coarse locks. "You're brilliant, Aya-san. I really do think they're good."

Kakashi watched Sai appraise the honest man for a few long seconds before giving him a smile that both he and Sakura knew was faked.

"You won't have any problems."

The young guard let out a heavy breath and stepped away from the wall as Sai hugged his sketches to his chest. "Why…why don't I show you to your rooms, then."

That was odd. Chi was more scared of dying than he was of them, in a general sense. As long as there was no physical contact between them, he was fairly comfortable. It told Kakashi a few things. One, the boy had been at this long enough to grow immune to the normal intimidations that came from the job and came from the other patients occupying the buildings. And two, the kid feared whoever else was in these walls more than he feared them and judging from earlier reactions, those people resided on floor seven.

What the hell was in the records that Tsunade sent here?

They trudged on through the dark corridor for a few minutes more before being taken left into a small foyer where four elevators resided, tucked into the walls side by side. The wall facing the hallway they had just exited was covered with two frames of abstract art created by an artist they weren't familiar with. And there was a golden plaque tucked against the crease where the ceiling met the wall that read:

Welcome to Kokoro no Basho

Chi punched the button to the first elevator with his thumb before turning to face the Team Seven members with a frown. "Aya-san, Fumitaka-san, you'll be sharing dorm one-oh-three." he informed them, trying to keep the confidence in his voice. "Ie-san, you'll be in dorm one-oh-eight with Mugetsu-san."

He was very polite with them. He humanized the enemy. Kakashi had to give the kid kudos; it took a certain kind of man to be able to do that. From such mannerisms it was easy to guess that Chi had been raised by the "you're no better than they are if you disrespect them" creed. Granted, Kakashi saw some flaws in such reasoning but if it worked to keep him safe then who was he to argue?

Sakura shifted her weight from side to side, rubbing her wrists beneath the chakra restraints. The entirety of their group flinched as the elevator doors wheezed open, accompanied with a scream from floors above them, then the crash of a slamming door. Chi was the first to recover and stepped onto the lift before tugging them on behind him. When they were all fitted into the small space, he leaned forward to press the small round button engraved with a small seven. The doors closed with a whoosh of air before the entire thing jerked. Sakura steadied herself on Kakashi, her hands lightly grabbing his arms. Sai easily kept his balance and stared straight ahead.

There was no soothing elevator music like one often heard in cheap motels. There was only the metallic hum of them being raised up the shaft to their designated floor. The impending knowledge that after this everything changed set in, creating a somber atmosphere. If Chi noticed the anxious glances passed about from green to black to blue before those silver doors opened, he gave no indication.

Gentle hands squeezed Kakashi's arm reassuringly before dropping back to Sakura's side. He knew why. They didn't know when they'd see each other again after being assigned different rooms. It was an unfortunate evil, but a necessary one to complete the mission and so he accepted all of this with a blank stare forward, just as Sai did.

The heavy sound of the elevator opening made Kakashi hold his breath. Sakura almost whimpered but easily recovered, passing off the small noise as a cough. The sight that met them was one they had not expected.

The white walls and floors were stained red with aged blood spatters that had been unsuccessfully washed away. Only a few strides away three iniquitous women dressed in scant clothing and a broad man in coveralls held someone unmoving against the white-red wall. It wasn't the lack of motion that told Team Seven their victim was dead or close to it, but the pool of blood dripping beneath his bare feet. Drop after drop fell from his toes until it formed an almost constant stream. The women and their accomplice completely ignored the newcomers and continued speaking amongst themselves. Just beyond them sat five men on the floor, huddled into a small semi-circle, each with shaved heads, tattooed arms and five cards in each hand. A poker game was laid out before them and they obviously weren't accepting any buy-ins as they glared ferociously as the single-file parade marched past.

Most of the number-marked doors they passed by were closed, but as they walked they came to an open one that revealed what appeared to be a, for a lack of better terminology, fuck-fest of some sort. A tiny brunette was on her hands and knees kneeling on the floor as she sucked off a pale and skinny male while taking it in the ass from a well-built man with off-green hair. Each powerful thrust behind her made her hum with delight around the small man's dick, earning strangled breaths from him. Behind them on one of the visible bunk beds was a woman obviously enjoying what was being done to her for she smiled and moaned as though there were no greater pleasure than being beaten and fucked at the same time. The man above her smacked her each time she spoke or made noise, which in turn earned him more cries.

Kakashi made a face and looked down at his feet. Sakura shook her head and Sai stared awkwardly as thought unsure what to make of it.

Chi grumbled angrily as he fingered the radio on his shoulder, muttering an annoyed: "They're at it again in room one-twenty. And we've got a bleeder from room seventy-seven up here." Static followed his report before another masculine voice was projected saying that he'd be down in a moment to clean it up and fetch the man away from his attackers.

They continued onward, ignoring moans and screams of pain and pleasure from behind closed doors and upper and lower floors. As they came to stand in front of Kakashi's assigned room, Chi growled some scathing remark under his breath. The mint-green door, each door they passed had been painted the gross color, was closed and lacked the horrendous bloodstains most of the others were adorned with. Kakashi found himself wondering whether or not that was something that would play in his favor. Their escort turned to him and unlocked the cuffs from around his wrists then proceeded to turn and knocked once against the aged wood before turning the knob and pushing his way into the room.

Kakashi was thankful that his room was mostly clean, and still carpeted, with two single beds on either side. A tiny woman, with frost-blue hair that framed her softly angled face, occupied the bed on the left side of the room. She glanced up from a thick novel in her lap at the disturbance of having new company.

Chi spoke, "Mugetsu-san, this is Ie Arashi. Under orders from Mio-sempai, this will be his dorm."

Slate grey eyes flickered over Kakashi's appearance, appraising him like he was her next meal, and when she seemed content that he wasn't some freak-of-nature that would pose her a direct threat she beckoned him inside. Kakashi glanced behind him for a brief moment to his teammates before stepping into the room. Chi closed the door behind him with a click.

"I have never had a roommate." Mugetsu commented friendlily enough as she snapped her large book shut. Her voice was low and raspy and almost _too_ masculine for a woman of her size. Kakashi eyed her warily as he slipped his bag off of his shoulder and settled it onto the bed.

"Nor have I." He replied easily as he cautiously took a seat. There was nothing in between the space between their beds but air and that deeply disturbed Kakashi although he couldn't put his finger on just why. Was it because he knew that this woman had done terrible things to end up in Madhouse? That she was in here meant that she wasn't as kind and dainty as she appeared to be. "Do you have a first name?"

"Mmhmm. It is Sugoi." She told him as she scooted to the edge of her bed, allowing her feet to hit the soft white carpeting beneath them. Odd name.

Kakashi noted that she didn't use contractions when she spoke. She was fairly pretty, nothing compared to Sakura's exotic beauty despite this woman having quite peculiar hair of her own. She was fair-skinned with delicate features that were hugged by the dark sweater she wore. Flared hips and a flat chest, slender but curvy legs which were mostly hidden by the khaki slacks she wore.

"Like what you see?" Sugoi asked, amusement lighting her tone. When she laughed the nostrils of her roman nose flared.

He might have, if she weren't a killer. Kakashi shifted against the mattress uncomfortably. "I… I like blondes." He told her, recalling all the information from his character profile. "And I like brown eyes."

She waved a small hand through the air. "Oh, there are plenty of those around. You know, we should get to know each other better, Arashi_-kun_. We are roommates after all." As she spoke she sprawled out suggestively on her bed, with thighs crossed and her head propped up on one hand. The other hand rested on the hip she had jutted into the air, dangerously close to the vee of her legs.

He supposed there was no harm in getting to know her, at least as a person, seeing that they would be sharing this room for the next few months…

* * *

"Forgive me, Lady Tsunade if I have trouble spitting his name out." Kakashi said from his window where he straddled the sill. His back and head were resting against the vertical frame and his eyes were closed. "I promise you my anger towards him is well founded."

"Didn't you just say that Mugetsu Sugoi was a _she_?" Tsunade asked with genuine curiosity as she lifted her feet up onto the middle of her desk. She locked her fingers behind her head and leaned back against the chair she sat in. It had little give, but enough to allow her to lie back comfortably.

As his expression changed so did the shadows on his face, telling her that he was now smirking, however ruefully. "I'm trying to give you an accurate account of what happened. So being honest, at first, I thought he _was_ a she. Because his frame was so frail, I could understand a woman of that size having such small breasts and I had met women with much lower and raspier voices." He paused to take a deep breath. "Even Sakura mistook him for a woman when she first met him."

"What tipped you off that Sugoi was male?"

"Well… after just a few hours with him, after learning relatively nothing except for the fact that he liked to read…"

* * *

Kakashi sat on his bed with his back against the wall, skimming through his beaten Icha Icha Paradise for his favourite scene where the lead finds out that the man she'd fallen in love with had killed her brother, when Sugoi rolled from her mattress. Her feet hit the floor silently before she padded to the small bathroom attached to the room in the corner opposite the door. Hours earlier Kakashi had unpacked his things into a small dresser he was being forced to share with the blue-haired woman and put his more personal things under the small sink that he could see from his bed when the bathroom door was ajar.

The earlier events in the hallway had turned out to be mild happenings compared to the late night frenzies, according to Sugoi, who had willingly described a few of the gruesome acts she'd witnessed over the last few weeks. Kakashi had to believe her because the later the evening got, the louder the eerie _and_ disturbing noises became. Screams echoed off walls every few minutes and the occasional door slams had groan to a low roar, amongst other sounds. He was sure the repetitive _squee-thump, squee-thump, squee-thump _against his wall was coming from the box spring of a bed in the next room on which who the hell knew what was going on.

As she reached the lavatory, Sugoi didn't bother closing the door behind her, but it wasn't as though Kakashi could see her. It still bothered him however, that he could hear her taking a piss. There was just something about that sort of familiarity that he wasn't comfortable with. Perhaps if she had been his lover for a few months it might not have struck him as so unusual.

"Chow will be in an hour or so." Sugoi called out as she washed her hands in the porcelain basin of the sink. "I could show you around while we wait."

"Chow?" Kakashi repeated.

She nodded as she emerged, "Yes. You know, supper. Food. They do feed us here."

"Oh." Right, should have known, he thought. "Show me around?"

"We are also allowed to wander the halls, as I am sure you noticed when you came in. I usually keep to myself in here. Some really fucked up shit happens out there, you know?" She gestured toward the door as she slipped on a pair of house slippers that had been hidden beneath her neatly made bed. "Like I told you earlier. I mean just last week the pretty redhead in one-hundred-eighty was dressed up really nice and then killed. Decapitated, actually. And then some people come up missing and no one knows where they go. I want nothing to do with that shit. No thank you."

Now they were getting somewhere. A person going missing was a good place to start, multiple were even better, when looking for the person killing the guards. Maybe if he kept Sugoi on this topic she'd tell him what he needed to know so he could get the hell out of this hellhole. A quick slam to the throat would be enough to take out their target, by crushing the windpipe and then Team Seven would be home free.

"People have gone missing?"

"All the time. You will most definitely hear about it when we eat." She shuffled to the door and turned to look at him over her shoulder as she gripped the doorknob at an odd angle with her index and middle fingers. "Are you coming?"

Oh, hell yes. "Sure."

It didn't take long before he was following her out the door. There were more people occupying the hall than before, different people. The group with the man against the wall was gone, but the pool of blood wasn't and he hadn't been the only one to notice that it still resided. A man was actually _rolling_ in it, smearing it against the wall as he moved and soaking his clothes and lightly coloured hair. Kakashi nearly lost it when the man locked eyes with him, staring daggers, before dragging the length of his tongue through the puddle and lapping it up. He turned away and kept at Sugoi's heels.

Against door one-oh-five two women stood embraced, each with a hand down the other's pants and their tongues tangled together in some fight for dominance. Then unbeknownst to the one with her back to the plank of the door, the other pulled her hand free and slipped a short shiv from her pocket before slamming it into the other's thigh. She cried out in pain, but they continued to kiss as though they might die without the other's embrace. Kakashi gawked at this display and it didn't take long for Sugoi to noticed her new companion had halted and she had to explain that the one being stabbed was very hard to kill, and actually enjoyed violent love acts like that, due to a Kekkei Genkai she had inherited even though she wasn't a shinobi by vocation.

He was having a hard time wrapping his head around it, but slowly continued his walk with his roommate until they came upon door one-oh-three. "Are we allowed to enter others' rooms?" Kakashi quipped quietly; trying to ignore the hungry glances he was receiving from a surly man who was laying out on the floor with his legs up the wall.

"You can do almost anything you want." She said before glancing to the door. "Those people you came in with?"

He nodded. "I'll be a only a moment."

"Invite them along. I can give you guys the grand tour." She offered as she crossed her arms over her chest. The occupants of one-oh-two threw open their door and were ready to exit but upon seeing Sugoi standing there so calmly, as though she owned the hall, rushed to reenter their room and close the door.

Kakashi said nothing to this, but made note of it as he pushed open Sai and Sakura's door. They sat on the floor, the latter posing for one of the former's sketches. They looked up with wide eyes at the intrusion but their expressions softened when they realised who he was. Smiles spread across both of their faces.

"You want to come walking?" he asked, still gripping the doorknob in his fist.

"Walking?" Sakura asked with a wrinkle of her nose. "Where on earth would we walk?"

"Around, I guess. Come on, Sugoi is offering to give us a tour."

Sai shrugged and settled his drawing aside before picking himself up, dusting his pants and offering Sakura a hand. She stood and wiped off her rear with both hands as Sai had done before bounding to the door with a grin. She peeked out over Kakashi's shoulder to see the woman from earlier, her hand falling against her old sensei's chest. Kakashi stepped back and allowed them out of the room.

"Unmei, Kaiga, let me introduce you to Mugetsu Sugoi."

Sugoi simply nodded her head as Sakura offered her a pretty smile. Sai closed their door and stepped forward, hand extended outward in salutations. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sugoi-san."

"Please, there is no need to be so formal." She smiled charmingly at them, revealing straight, white teeth. "Would you like to see the recreation area? They usually have arts and crafts and whatnot."

Sai perked up at this, "That would be wonderful. Don't you think, Unmei-chan?" He turned his head toward his typically pink-haired companion.

Sakura nodded.

Sugoi grinned happily, grey eyes meeting Kakashi's before returning to the young medic. "Unmei-chan, might I say how lovely you look today? You are quite a beautiful woman." Her fingers took a small piece of Sakura's hair and smoothed over it.

Kakashi frowned. Was she _hitting _on Sakura?

Kindly, Sakura grinned at the other female. A look of conclusion lit her eyes. "Oh, well thank you. You're awfully pretty yourself. Your hair is beautiful, such a pretty color."

At this Sugoi frowned as though she didn't understand the meaning of Sakura's words. She blinked a few times as she worked through her thoughts and settled to reply with a simple question. "Did you say I was _pretty_?"

"I did." Answered Sakura hesitantly.

The blue-haired woman began to laugh wholeheartedly, slender shoulders shaking with each tremor of her amusement. Her head tilted back and her eyes closed as she pressed a hand to her abdomen as she guffawed loudly. "You think that I am…" As she straightened and sobered, she couldn't help the lingering shakes, "I am male."

_Son of a bitch_! Sakura and Kakashi exchanged genuinely surprised glances of green and blue at Sugoi's confession. Kakashi stood slightly relieved, because it explained the earlier bathroom incident, but still in shock too while Sakura stood completely dumbfounded. She, _he_, was so…

He was prettier then she was, the medic mused. His figure was more defined and slightly curvier despite his tinier frame. Long and angular lashes that she had only seen on women in magazines framed his dark eyes. Sakura's cheeks flushed a brilliant red at her blunder.

"I am so sorry." She started.

He shrugged and raised his hands in a way that showed he held no ill feelings toward her for the mistake. "Oh, it is okay. Really. You are not the first person to mistake my gender. Come, shall we?" As a friendly gesture, Sugoi held out his petite hand for Sakura to take.

Hesitantly, she did. Sai cleared his throat as a warning to the opposing male.

Sakura frowned. "Calm down, Kaiga-kun. We're just walking."

They followed him to the end of the hallway where a small door was marked 'stairwell'_. _Kakashi and Sai followed obediently as Sugoi and Sakura led them up the empty foyer. Like the white halls of the main floor, the walls were stained red from years of bloodshed. It reeked of bleach and something else.

Where the hell _were all the guards_? Kakashi knew they had a set number patrolling outside the building, but where the hell were the rest of them? Surely they had to have enough to be able to control unpredictable masses. Perhaps they were on a time schedule? He had been hiding away in his new room for the last few hours. That could explain why it seemed like there hadn't been a single patrol – he'd missed them.

And on the topic of missing things, how the hell had he missed that his roommate was male? He looked like deceptively like a woman, that's how. Gentle curves, a rounded face with hollow cheeks, a long roman nose and beautiful eyes. His lips were plump, angled _just enough_ to form a Cupid's Bow. And he was so dainty. Even Sakura, a trained medic, had mistaken him.

"You didn't realize he was male?" Sai asked mutedly, just barely loud enough for Kakashi to hear him as they scaled another case of stairs that lead to the ninth floor.

The jounin shook his head, giving the artist a sidelong glance as they spoke. "No. You did?"

"Adam's apple. Deep voice. No breasts. Things added up."

"Bullshit. I've met women with deeper voices than he has. Women that size are often close to being flat chested and," his gaze flickered to the man ahead of them, "If he has an Adam's apple it completely slipped past me. Not at all defined like yours or mine."

"Fair enough. I can't believe you couldn't tell though."

"What really gave it away?"

Sai pursed his lips for a moment. "The way he stands. It's very… domineering but when he crosses his arms over his chest you see just how broad they are despite his being so slender."

Kakashi shrugged and sighed as they reached the tenth floor and followed their new escort into a small white antechamber. The walls on either side of them had one door and the wall in front of them had two, each with small rectangular glass windows in all conditions. From left to right the plaques on the doors read:

Recreation and Activity; Library; and elevator was nestled in-between; Rehabilitation; and Medical Ward.

It was immediately obvious that the Rehabilitation rooms hadn't been used in a really long time. The window was shattered, the lights were out and a cobweb dangled from the doorknob. That bothered Kakashi to some degree but not as much as the man in the pool of blood from earlier had.

As they stepped toward the Rec room screams came at full volume from the Med Ward, and Sakura had to still her medic instincts. She was undercover. It was not her job to fix these people. Most of them didn't deserve her help, she told herself, but still her hands itched to glow green with chakra. Another wail of pain had her halting her steps to look at the door.

Shortly after, a dumpy man burst from the door. His olive-drab uniform was drenched with blood but he paid it no mind, as well as they group of four standing just outside Recreation, as he grabbed his radio from his shoulder. "We've lost one from level two, room twenty-nine."

"**Twenty-nine?" **A female's voice answered back, "**Was it Feathers or Takahashi?"**

"Takahashi. He was slashed in the hall. Hey, I'll meet you in the lounge, okay?"

"**Alright."**

The man continued on, pressing the down key for the elevator. As soon as he was gone, Sugoi insisted they follow him.

"People die here all the time. It really is nothing to fret over. You can consider yourself lucky if you have not been slashed, or been through an attempted slashing within a week. Shanks, shivs, actual weapons… they use all sorts of things. I once saw a man make a blade out of a toilet paper roll, just a toilet paper roll."

"Right." Kakashi muttered under his breath as they disappeared into a poorly painted room with off yellow walls and steel tables.

The extents of their so-called arts and crafts were half-used crayons, broken colored pencils and pieces of blank paper. Sai actually made a noncommittal noise of disappointment at the pitiful sight before turning his head toward Sakura.

"So when do we eat?"

* * *

"Well?"

Kakashi shrugged and scratched at his jaw as he swung his legs from the edge of the window as though bored. "Dinner was…in all actuality, uneventful. That was on the first floor. Tables were spread out all through the way. Naturally we took a seat with Sugoi. It was at a rather large round table and we met a few of his acquaintances. A sort of pretty dark haired girl named Muteki is the only one I really recall because she's the only one of importance, as you'll later learn. I didn't even know her name until right before we escaped." He cleared his throat; "Sugoi hadn't lied when he'd claimed we would hear about the missing people when we ate. It was all anyone seemed to talk about but we didn't hear anything of good use. Just 'so and so is gone' or 'glad that fucker got taken'."

"Muteki?"

"I'll get to her…but she doesn't come in until much later. It was the first and only time she ever dined with us but that's not really important right now…. Anyway, after supper Sugoi disappeared for a bit saying he had some people he wanted to go see so I spent the evening with Sai and Sakura."

"I don't mean to complain, Kakashi, but these are most of your accounts?"

"I told you I only knew bits and pieces of their parts. I'm doing the best I can, Tsunade. I haven't slept well in over five weeks, so please forgive me."

She knew he was. She knew also knew that he hadn't slept in what seemed like an eternity because she could see it in the dark rings beneath his eyes, and the frowns lines of his face and the redness of his sclera. He was trying so damned hard, and she commended him for that. He was keeping everything together. That took the self-control of a saint, to not fall apart. Even as Hokage she knew that if what had happened to him had happened to her she would have broken down and threw a temper-tantrum from hell. Buildings would have been lost to her fists and the ground broken by heavy stamps.

"…I've been meaning to ask, your hair, it's shorter?"

"Ah, yes. I will get to that lovely little story too."

"I'm sorry I keep interrupting, please go on, Kakashi." She smiled meekly and rolled her hand for him to go on.

"They called for lights out at roughly midnight. It didn't matter though… the evening crowds were far worse than that early morning and afternoon ones…"

* * *

The loud voices of night guards in the hallways announced that they would be shutting off the hallways lights. Curiously, Kakashi peeked around door one-oh-three to see just what they meant. At the very end of the hall, by the elevator, the woman he recognized as Mio tapped a panel on the wall and with heavy, metallic _thunks_ the fluorescent lights overhead clanged to black. In a matter of seconds the security lights placed in even intervals along the walls flickered to life, providing enough light to see should they need to leave their rooms in the middle of the night.

"Good-night, you crazy fuckers." The woman barked before disappearing behind elevator doors.

Kakashi sighed and glanced back at his teammates, "I had better go. I'll see you in the morning. Good-night."

"Night _Arashi_." Sakura purred as she leaned back against the artist overdramatically, with arms tangled above her head and legs stretched out teasingly. Then she gave him a genuine grin. "Sleep well, sensei."

"You too."

As the jounin turned back to slip out of room one-hundred-three he was found with the sight of many others following suit. Men and women alike were creeping, _literally creeping, _from rooms all down the hallway.

Suppressing a nervous shudder, Kakashi hurried to his shared room in a hope that he not be confronted by any of the strange people emerging. His quick attempt was to no avail as a plump woman in one-oh-seven caught his arm with her chubby little hand.

"Loo'y wha' we go' 'ere." Her accent was very thick.

Kakashi jerked his arm away and closed the gap between him and his door. He slipped inside and pressed his back against the wooden board, releasing a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"There you are." Came Sugoi's cheery greeting. "Lights out?"

"Yeah." Kakashi replied breathily as he glanced to the reading man before throwing himself onto his bed. A brief silence followed before the cackles and wails started.

"Lurkers are the worst." The blue-haired man stated easily, "The ones who come out in the early morning hours, the ones filing out by the number right now."

The Copy-Ninja grumbled something absently into his pillow as he ignored the tingle at the back of head. It had been there all day, telling him that he was very near to fairly skilled shinobi. He turned his head to gaze at his roommate. "You wouldn't happen to be from a hidden village, would you?"

"No. I was raised far northwest of Wind in a small little town. There were a couple shinobi clans though. Mugetsu is one of them."

"Ah. So you're a ninja?"

The man shrugged tiny shoulders and closed his book. "Yes and no. I am able to utilize chakra but nothing too complicated. I was not really interested in working as a shinobi as a child. And you? Are you a ninja?"

"Chuunin. I lived south of Konohagakure and took my tests there as a child. I worked freelance and would run jobs for them every so often, but only really simple things, you know? B-rank at most. My father owned a shop in Tanzaku Square and I spent most of my time there."

Blue-hair swayed as he nodded. "I see. I never really understood the appeal of throwing oneself out into a field of battle. I feel that shinobi are highly overrated. No offense to you, of course."

Kakashi wanted to roll his eyes but refrained from doing so with a mental punch to his brain.

They paused as a heavy repetitive beating hammered against their door, followed by a long line of curses directed towards some deity or something. The bed in the next room over began creaking and yowls of pain/pleasure emanated from the long corridor.

"Are they always this loud at night?"

"Yes. Louder, even."

Nothing more was spoken between the two after that. Sugoi sat reading his book on the evolution of something as Kakashi lay with his face pressed into the pillows as he listened to the noises of the people in the room next to him. Springs creaked and moans sounded. He heard the occasional slap of flesh through the thin walls and had all he could do to keep from smashing his head against the floor to join them.

Did they not understand it was nearly two in the morning?

Obviously not. For two hours they had been at it. Kakashi's breaking point was all but hanging from a small string when a woman in the hallway let loose a blood curdling shriek that she was being raped. He moved to get up to help her but Sugoi stopped him.

"Her name is Yume. It is most definitely not what you think, believe me." His eyes didn't even lift from the pages beneath him. "She likes to draw attention to herself by yelling _that_ every night. And every night people go to her. You really do not want to be caught in it. It turns into a blood bath. Watch this." He lifted a single hand with his palm out and his fingers spread. Slowly he folded his fingers, counting back from five, closing them until he had a fist and as his thumb closed in on the rest of his fingers, the sound of a riotous scuffle could be heard starting. "Every night."

This was going to be the longest mission of his life.

After nearly thirty-minutes of listening to individuals beat each other senseless, Sugoi snapped his book shut and jumped from his bed to stomp toward the door. Kakashi sat up to watch as he threw it open. Dainty hands fell upon shapely hips.

"What the fuck is going on out here? Are you all a bunch of fucking animals?" Sugoi's voice took on a deep growl as he fumed, deepening his voice by nearly an octave. It was admittedly intimidating. "Yume, I will not tell you again to cut the shit." A ridiculously tall woman with red hair hung her head like a scolded puppy. "As for the rest of you stupid bastards, quiet down or I will make sure myself that you all end up like Takahashi. _Fucking dead_. Do we understand each other?"

The silence that overcame them was deafening. One could hear a pin drop onto the plush carpet it was so quiet. Kakashi found the reaction to the blue-haired man's words stunning. Never had he seen such a wild crowd obey anyone's order so quickly.

Slowly, Kakashi lowered himself to his bed. He waited from his roommate to return to bed when the room light went out, but he didn't and the door closed lightly behind him. Kakashi shrugged and shifted underneath his blankets to catch what sleep he could.

Morning, once again, came far too early for the members of Team Seven. Kakashi was roused from a slight sleep by a hand on his shoulder. He cracked an eye open to find Sakura leaning over him.

"Arashi?"

"Mm?" He turned, pressing his face into his pillow agitatedly. Where was Sai?

"Come on, you need to see this…" She urged him, hand shaking his shoulder a little more firmly. There was a look of panic on her face.

He groaned but rolled over and sat up, pressing the heel of his hand against a temple. "This had better be good."

Green eyes rolled heavenward before he was dragged out from underneath his blankets to the closed door marked one-oh-nine. Tired, he tried to blink away the sleep that still lagged.

"You aren't going to believe this." Her voice cracked as she spoke. He straightened a little at this. Did he really want to? Sakura was doing a damn good job hiding her jitters, but he noticed them all the same and frowned deeply at her. He had a bad feeling about this.

"What is it?"

She pulled open the door and stepped back, hand covering her mouth to hide the disgust that marred her features. He stepped forward and gazed into the hallway, only to stumble backwards back into the room awkwardly with a sharp gasping noise breaking from his throat in horror.

"What the fuck is that?" He roared as his chest heaved up and down violently.

Strewn down the length of the hall were the intestines of God knew who, his disemboweled body propped against the silver doors of the elevator, waiting for whoever the poor guard was that had to make the first rounds. As Kakashi struggled to cope with the shock of it all, the stench of the unthinkable began to reach him.

Making a beeline for the bathroom, he didn't make it to the toilet in time and instead vomited into the sink. His body undulated and retched, shaking and trembling all the while. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the porcelain basin.

The commotion woke the blue-haired man, who must have returned sometime within the night. "What is going on?" He rubbed sleepily at feather-lashed eyes as he pushed his blankets away. As he gained his bearings, he focused on Sakura. "Unmei-chan?"

Sakura waved at him inelegantly, glancing toward the vomiting jounin still hunched over the small sink. "Good morning, Sugoi. I…" she gestured toward the hall, "It's a mess out there."

Brows knitting with confusion, Sugoi stepped into his slippers and shuffled to the cracked door and threw it open. He stared at the horrific sight for a moment before closing the door with a click. "That is certainly… not what I expected to wake to." He looked to his tremoring roommate. "Are you okay, Arashi?"

"Just give me a few moments." He managed to cough.

"Does that happen often?" Sakura asked, slowly seating herself on Kakashi's bed. She gazed up at Sugoi with wide doe eyes and a frown.

He shook his head, frosty bangs falling into his eyes. With a jerk, he righted his hair and sat, "It does not. However, it has happened before."

* * *

Gloved hands rubbed together; creating pleasant friction with each back and forth until they were warm enough. Kakashi rubbed his forearms, calloused fingers circling around his wrists as he moved. A chilly wind blew through the open window, whistling against the panes as it danced through to fill the room. He groaned softly as he placed both feet flat against the floor.

Honey eyes closed as Kakashi began pacing, each quiet footfall against her floor followed by a light scuff she hadn't noticed earlier. Was it his back, she wondered? Or had he sustained an injury to his legs or feet during all of this that he was neglecting to mention? Even though she tried not to see it when she gazed upon his anxious hands, there was no way she could ignore the blackened bruises beneath his fingernails. Tsunade knew of a few torture techniques that could cause such marks. A part of her feared, no, knew, that one of them had been used against him, or quite possibly more. It explained the unsteadiness, the way his hand had trembled when he'd poured the water.

How much had he suffered through all of this? He had been the one to find Sai, to find Sakura. The mess another man had made was his to clean up and there was nothing she could do to convince the Copy Ninja otherwise.

"The guards came to floor seven maybe thirty minutes later. The mess was cleaned, but not very well. I can't tell you how many times that day I nearly threw up again. Something about the bleach, blood and excrement smell made me sick." He spoke as though this was a usually encountered mixture. "It's not like it was the first time I had ever been exposed to it." He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand as his feet still scuffed against the floor. "I think the difference was being inside. On the battlefield, scents aren't as strong because there's so much open space to dilute it. This was contained to this one hallway."

"It would make sense."

"Mm." Silver brows came together.

The Hokage opened her eyes, watched as the jounin before her strode back and forth in front of her desk. "And after they cleaned up?"

"Cliques formed in the hall once more. The women I had seen going at it the night before came out, both of them looking rather worse for wear. The poker players returned as well. They acted as though nothing had happened. So, Sakura and I decided we'd use our time with Sugoi to the best of our abilities."

"Where was Sai during all of this?"

"Recreation. He didn't like Sugoi."

"Ah."

The man swallowed hard. "As it turned out, Floor Seven housed the more… belligerent of the populace. Or the ones Commander Mio just didn't like. Of course, this made me even more wary of Sugoi but a part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt." He made a sound of disgust that mimicked a growl. "I should have known better."

She blinked at him. "Would it have changed anything?"

"I could have killed him before anything happened. _Before he _killed_ Sai_, _before he _harmed _Sakura_!" he barked angrily turning sharply on his heel to face her with teeth barred. The new pink scar that stretched from his lower left cheek, across his bottom lip to just below his right ear was pulled taught with each word that rolled off of his tongue. "I could have done _something_."

"You know just as well as I do that you wouldn't have been able to counter it if he had had anytime to react to an attack from you. Such a powerful Kekkei Genkai is rare to come across and you wouldn't have been… weren't able to counter it. Neither could Sai or Sakura." Tsunade informed him evenly, lacing her fingers beneath her chin as she removed her feet from the oak desk to set the on the floor. She leaned forward.

"I would have killed him instantly. There would have been no time for counter measures."

"You say that so confidently."

His eyes widened with shock at her words. She was scolding him! How dare she after everything they had gone through? "What are you getting at?" he snapped.

She inclined her head to the right, blonde hair swinging slightly. "You have confidence that has been rooted deeply in anger. Is it anger because you couldn't find him when you returned? Or is it because you were unable to protect your team? Who are you angry with, Hatake Kakashi? Mugetsu Sugoi or yourself? Do you think boasting of things you _would have_ done will ever change what happened?"

His solid form wavered before he fell back to the chair he'd occupied earlier. His cradled his head in his hands as he forced his eyes shut to fight off tears that threatened. His teeth clenched. In shame? Rage? Fear? He wasn't sure anymore. But her words hit too close to home.

Who _was_ he mad at? His first instinct was to scream Sugoi's name but after it was said and done, a different feeling came over him. His chest heaved and tightened. He knew boasting of what could have been would never change anything. Big words and an ego to match would never bring Sai back to life. It would never just make things better.

"I promised them so long ago that I would protect them at all costs. And I failed them. I failed my team."

"We can't always guarantee the safety of those we love, but we can always try our damnedest and that's what matters most. It's the effort. I know you tried. Sakura knows you tried and I know that wherever he is, Sai knows you tried."

A solemn quiet filled the room for many minutes following her words.

It was Kakashi who spoke first. "For two days following, things were… bearable. There weren't any more killings on our floor, which was a plus in itself. The day crowds were loud, but we usually went somewhere else to escape it. The Lurkers were still frustratingly noisy, and the redheaded woman cried wolf again just as he'd said she would, but they tended to stop after Sugoi threw open our door to shut them up. Of course, anyone with that tone of voice could be intimidating." He crossed his legs and locked his fingers in his lap before glancing up to the clock: _12:37_. "I can't tell you how often I would rub my thumb back and forth across the key Genma had given me. It was like…like a beacon of hope, that if things got too out of hand, we could leave."

He smiled wistfully. "The third night was when things within Madhouse started to change. The atmosphere…darkened. Until that point, everything that had happened around us had just been on the surface. It never had to do with us. People died every day, but it wasn't Sakura, Sai or myself, so it didn't really matter. It rolled off our backs as though nothing had ever happened."

"What do you mean things changed?" Tsunade frowned.

"We became the targets."

* * *

Kakashi stirred from a dreamless sleep, tossing his head back and forth violently against his pillow as malicious whispers filled his ears and foreign fingers stroked through his hair. He grumbled absently, turning onto his right side so that he might fall asleep once more and rid himself of the odd sensations plaguing him. They continued on as he dozed lightly, his mind vaguely aware of the five strange people hovering over his sleeping form with deranged smiles and looks of mindless amusement.

His eyes snapped open at the second sharp _shwhip_ of scissors slicing through hair as the sound registered in his brain. It took only a second before he was standing on his bed, muscle-memory forcing him into a warrior's stance so that he might defend himself against the unknown presence.

The strangers, three men and two women, cackled in the darkness as the tallest of them held up a fistful of hair that glinted red-brown in the dim hall light leaking from the cracked door and a pair of rust-bitten scissors. Kakashi didn't need to reach a hand up to know that it was his hair they had cut, he could already feel the weight difference on the left side of his head.

"Get out." He growled, his voice rumbling deep within his chest and throat. It was the most threatening tone he could muster, and they laughed at it like absurd fools.

He watched as the tallest silhouette, the one with the scissors, lifted the locks of Kakashi's hair to his nose before inhaling as deeply as possible. He spoke on his exhale. "Smells good. Real good." The laugh that carried the words grew louder as one of the women gripped the man's wrist tightly to bring the Copy Ninja's hair to her face so she could smell it too.

She laughed wildly as her eyes widened. "Oh, yes. He smells real good. _Almost good enough to eat_."

"Oh, fuck_"_ he muttered. Kakashi breathed in slowly to steady himself and his nerves as he realised that she hadn't been trying to pass the odd comment off as a poorly worded flirt. She and her friends were literally considering eating him because of his scent alone. _Fucking cannibals._ He wanted to yell to Sugoi to wake up, but as his uncovered eye flickered to his bed, he saw that the blue-haired man wasn't there. And unfortunately he got the gist that this wasn't some weird initiation joke because none of the men before him were small enough to be his roommate.

"Almost." The tall one purred to his cohort. "Not quite though…but we still have the pink girl and awkward boy to pursue. He'll be back soon. Let's go." Strands of russet hair fell toward the floor as the tight fist holding them opened, but the man who had released them hit the carpet first as Kakashi tackled him to the ground.

"What the fuck did you just say?" The jounin roared, hands wrapping around the tall man's neck. The glint of white teeth revealed by a sadistic smile ignited a rage within Kakashi that he hadn't known he possessed. Hand tightened and he pressed his thumbs into the cannibal's trachea with bruising force before jerking him upward and slamming his head back into the floor. "I asked you a question."

The others giggled as the man beneath him struggled to reach for the scissors that had been lost to him upon the sudden impact. They resided but inches from his fingers. Calloused thumbs continued to press into his throat until he was gasping for air. "I'll ask you one more fucking time. What did you say?"

It was one thing to come after him, to cut his hair and then laugh about making a meal of him but these cocksuckers had sealed their fates the moment they had even considered attacking his teammates.

Kakashi leaned forward and pressed his lips to the shell of the man's ear. "If you ever go near them, if you ever think about going near them, I will kill you." He spat the words with enough conviction that there was no way he could mistake his threat for anything other than what it was. A threat. _A promise._

Wide eyes stared up at him as the man started shaking and for a moment, Kakashi thought me might be crying, but as the shakes became more violent he realised he was laughing. Hysterically laughing.

"We'll kill them." He giggled between breaths, "We'll eat them while you watch."

Before anyone had a chance to bat an eye Kakashi had the man thrown against the wall, the man crying out in pain as the hands closing off his air tightened enough that if either of them made the wrong move, he would be dead. Behind them, the others laughed maniacally.

"What the hell is going on in here?" the familiar low timbre of Sugoi's voice boomed as the small man came to stand in the doorway.

Kakashi remained still as the light overhead flickered on. He needn't bother answering the question; it only took Sugoi a short moment to realize what had been going on before he had returned. In the seconds that followed his apprehension, he dropped one of the women to the floor with a quick fist to the stomach.

The remaining three attackers tripped and stumbled in their efforts to leave the room, their friends quickly forgotten and their laughs non-existent.

"Arashi, let him go. He's not worth it." Sugoi warned as he placed a small hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

Despite the rage burning so deeply within him, Kakashi knew the other man was right. Slowly he loosened his fingers until his hand was no longer around the man's throat and he was able to leave. Kakashi turned away as the man stooped to throw the girl over his shoulder and leave. He stood for many long moments staring at the carpet, breathing deeply to still his inner storm. At his back, his dainty roommate crouched to pick up the lost scissors and some of the hair littering the floor.

He cleared his throat as he stood again. "Would you like me to fix it? Your hair, I mean. To make it look less…lopsided."

Kakashi hesitantly lifted his hands to feel just how much was missing from his head. A good portion of the left side, from his temple to just past the back of his ear, had been reduced to a little more than stubble. What remained couldn't have been much longer than inch, if that. Needless to say, it was the shortest his hair had ever been. At least they hadn't buzzed him – but that thought was fleeting as he registered the other man's offer. However, he would feel much safer if Sai or Sakura were to fix it instead of Sugoi, but he didn't want to risk setting the guy off.

Something about the Mugetsu clansmen still felt off to Kakashi and even though he had helped get rid of the cannibals or whatever the hell they were, he still didn't trust him. He doubted he ever would.

Reluctantly he answered as a dull ache began throbbing in his lower back. "If you'd like."

"You will have to sit then. You are much taller than I am." He pointed toward the floor and laughed at the near six-inch difference in height before disappearing into the bathroom for a brief moment. He returned with a towel and threw it at Kakashi. "Put that on your shoulders. It should help to catch some of the mess."

Or sop up the blood from neck wounds, the jounin mused as he lowered himself to the floor and knelt as slender fingers stroked through his hair.

"Did they try to…you know… eat you?" Sugoi asked conversationally as he made the first snip along the base of the Copy Nin's skull with a steady hand. Another one followed it.

Kakashi sighed. "No. I didn't smell good enough or something."

A few more crisp snips filled the room before the petite man spoke again. "This may be a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but they are a weird group. At least they waited a few days before attempting to put one over on you. I got it my first night here, only they did not cut my hair."

"What did they do?"

"They stole the pants off of my body. I mean, they came in and ripped my pants off while I slept. Then they took off back to their room, all the way at the end of the hall by the elevator."

A part of Kakashi was envious. "It probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if they hadn't brought Unmei and Kaiga into it."

"Ah. I understand. No worries, I think you did well in scaring them off." Sugoi teased as he started on the right side.

No, Kakashi thought, the one they were scared of was Sugoi. The people in one-oh-two had been. The cannibals had specifically said _'he'll be back soon. let's go_.' Everyone seemed to be… no wonder Kakashi had been sleeping so well. When Sugoi wasn't in their room the ruckus in the halls stopped almost completely. Doors weren't being slammed and the screaming and yelling had died down.

They sat in silence as Sugoi finished evening out the back of Kakashi's hair. He would take strands between two fingers and make sure his cut was smooth and continued this until all the hair, save for the locks on top of his head which were shortened but not so drastically, was the same length as the hair that had been cut while he had slept.

When the towel was removed, Kakashi lifted both hands to his head. The mess was much more even now, but so short that he was sure he wouldn't recognize himself in the mirror. "Thank you." He said as he climbed into his bed from his spot on the floor.

Sugoi smiled as he deposited the towel in the bathroom sink. He moved to shut off the light and gave Kakashi a curt not before moving the small tab down. The door closed shortly after, darkening the room to an almost pitch black. Kakashi listened as the other man shuffled across the carpet to his bed. It creaked lightly and fabric rustled lightly.

"Good night, Arashi."

The soft sound of the other man's voice made him shudder, but he indulged him. "Good night, Sugoi."

_**~)) … ((~**_

**A/N: **I really wanted to base Madhouse's miserable outside appearance on the Usher Manor from _The Fall of the House of Usher_ by Edgar Allen Poe, so I tried to capture a dark and rather the worse for wear essence. I hope I succeeded at least a little at making Kokoro no Basho a creepy place, inside and out. Creepy and I aren't a good mix; I'm very easily bothered by gore in real life (go figure).

This was an iffy chapter for me, but I really like the ending of this for some reason… the exchange between Kakashi and Sugoi. It's probably my favorite part of this chapter.

I would also like to thank **angeljoonesxx **for her help and allowing me to bounce ideas off of her.


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